


To Lose Thee Were To Lose Myself

by WarlockWriter



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Case Fic, Grace Bonds, M/M, Sharing a Bed, post 13x20
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-08-14
Packaged: 2019-06-10 11:41:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15290772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WarlockWriter/pseuds/WarlockWriter
Summary: Sam didn't believe the "new man" speech from Gabriel, but he understood recovery and knew sometimes you just had to put on a brave face. He still struggled with his own recovery journey. Perhaps the two of them could help each other? And gank a few monsters along the way?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from Paradise Lost by John Milton
> 
> Thank you to [GabrielLives](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GabrielLives/pseuds/GabrielLives) for the beta read. And for a couple of really cute ideas/additions.
> 
> This story is complete. I'm just trying the idea of posting as a serial because I've never done it before with a fanfic.

Sam had always wanted to try falconry. When he was about 10, he'd seen a special about it on TV. Dean had been out hustling pool--or he'd hoped his brother had only been hustling pool--so Sam had been able to turn off the TV, lie back on the smelly, scratchy motel bedspread, close his eyes and imagine kinship with a bird of prey. The way his bird would perch on his wrist, turning its head at the slightest sound. An untamed predator that would stay with him only until something better came along.

It was only years later that he'd realize the appropriateness of that youthful fantasy.

***

Sam climbed into the Impala, trying to keep his thoughts to himself. He knew Gabriel was only putting on a brave face. And he knew that Gabriel knew that he knew. When exactly had the Winchesters adopted another angel? Was it just now? Or had it been much earlier, when Gabriel had, however briefly, joined them in averting the Apocalypse?

"Sam, call Cas and let him know we've found his brother," Dean said as he drove.

Sam pulled out his phone, but before making the call, he turned to shoot a questioning look at Gabriel.

The archangel shrugged as if it made absolutely no difference to him. Sam didn't believe that any more than he'd believed the "new man" speech, but if Gabriel wasn't going to say anything, he'd make the call.

Cas picked up almost immediately, not even letting Sam speak. "I think there was something wrong with Rowena's spell. There's no sign of my brother here in Amarillo."

"That's because he's with us," Sam said. "And hello to you to, Cas."

He heard a quiet snicker from the back seat, and it relieved him.

Dean shot Sam an amused look, obviously appreciating the snark from his brother.

A pause on the end of the line. "Hello, Sam. Did you say my brother is with you?"

"Hey, baby bro!" Gabriel called from the back seat. Sam pointed the phone to the rear of the car. "Get back here. This bro band doesn't work with only three."

Sam put the phone back to his ear. "That answer it for you, Cas?"

"Yes, Sam. Are you heading back to the bunker?"

"Yeah, we need to get some sleep, and we'll head back in the morning."

"I will see you at the bunker, then. If I start now, I'll be there in about eight hours."

"Okay, see you sometime tomorrow." Sam disconnected.

They drove back to the motel in silence, but it was a mostly comfortable silence.

When they pulled in and parked, Sam got out of the car. He needed to walk for a bit and work through some stuff. As he headed off across the parking lot, Dean called, "Where you off to, Sam?"

The tall hunter waved back vaguely. "Just need to walk for a bit. I'll be back soon."

"Okay," Dean called back.

That was the nice thing about how long they'd been together. There was no need to explain. _I need some space_ was understood to be a thing, and both brothers honored it.

He got to the street, turned left, because, hey, what difference did it make? It wasn't like he had anyplace in particular he had to be. After about a block, he realized he wasn't alone.

"Gabe?"

The angel sped up to walk by Sam's side. "Hope you don't mind. A walk seemed like a good idea. I won't talk if you just want to think."

Sam shook his head. "No, it's fine." Oddly, while he hadn't wanted to talk earlier, with Gabriel here, maybe he did.

He still wasn't quite sure what had him on edge, but there was one thing he'd been wanting to say. "Look, I'm sorry about the handcuffs. I shouldn't have let my brother do that."

Gabriel was walking close enough that Sam felt the shudder go through his small frame. "Yeah. You shouldn't have." His voice sounded more resigned than angry.

"I'll talk to him when I get back. It doesn't excuse it, but he's been on edge what with Mom and Jack. He's not always that big of a dick."

Gabriel shrugged. "Don't put yourself out for my sake."

Again, it was resignation, not anger.

"Hey, Gabe. That's not what it's about. You joined up with us." He waved back in the direction of the motel. "You called it the 'bro band,' and you're right. You're one of us now. As long as you want."

"Doubt your brother will go along with that."

Sam smiled and shook his head. "No, let him get his head a bit more out of his ass, and he'll be fine. These days he just hates sending Cas off by himself."

That generated a bit of interest in Gabriel. "They doing it yet?"

Sam found himself laughing at that. "Not exactly. Don't know how much you know about the Winchester Saga, but Cas died...again...earlier this year. When he came back, Dean apparently decided enough was enough. He kissed Cas, finally kissed him, and, well, I guess they're seeing where it goes. I don't think it's gone all the way yet. There isn't enough soundproofing in the Bunker for me to miss that seminal event."

His wording surprised a chuckle out of the archangel. "Pun not intended?"

"Oh, it was intended."

They continued walking, the mood between them more comfortable now.

After a few minutes, Sam asked, "Can I talk to you about something?"

Gabriel gave him a raised eyebrow. "Guess it depends on the topic."

Sam heard the message clearly. No asking Gabriel anything else about what had happened to him with Asmodeus or about his capture by Loki. Too bad. Sam saw tons of holes in the angel's story, and he would like some of them filled. But he totally got that there were times and places for that.

"It's kind of about me."

Nodding, Gabriel said, "All right. Go."

"Don't know how much you know about what happened after you faked your death with Lucifer. Kudos on that, by the way. I'm glad you didn't die."

"Me too. Uh, as to what I know, that's kind of broad. Care to narrow that a bit?"

Sam took a deep breath. He wanted to talk about this, and it was still hard. "Do you know how we got Lucifer back into the Cage?"

Gabriel nodded. "Oh, that. It happened after I got sold, but I know about it because Asmodeus went on about it a couple of times. Assuming he didn't get it wrong, you said yes and then took Luci’s arrogant ass down into the Cage with you. Nice move. My brother deserved it. You didn't, though."

So he did know that much. That made it a bit easier.

Gabriel continued, "And if you're asking if I know what my big-bag-of-dicks brother did to you while you were down there, yeah, I kind of do. It was in your eyes when you were taking care of me back at the Bunker. Thanks again for that."

Sam nodded. "You're welcome. Sorry for hitting you up to join the team before you were ready."

"You're worried about your mom. Oh, and the world maybe ending again. I get that. But I'm guessing that wasn't what you wanted to talk about."

"No. It's about the Cage. I think you might understand what I went through more than most."

"You mean pain, humiliation, degradation and utter helplessness?" Gabriel's face looked like he had bitten into something sour tasting. "Yeah, I know a bit about that."

"So where do I go from here? I mean, it's been years now, and some days it's still like yesterday. Cas helped some--I doubt you know that part, but I don't want to go into it now."

Gabriel nodded his acceptance of that.

"I feel like I should be over it, but I'm not. Not even close."

Gabriel made a kind of humming noise before saying, "Okay. So, do you think you need to be over it or do other people think that? Like, is Dean telling you, 'Sammy, you oughta be past this by now?'"

Sam wasn't sure, but he thought he heard a hint of and _if he is, I'll smite him_ in the archangel's words.

To head off that line of thought, Sam hastily said, "No, it's not coming from anyone. It's me. I mean, it's been years now. Shouldn't I be past it?"

Gabriel moved his hand in a maybe yes, maybe no motion. "Depends. I'm probably the only angel who might even have a chance of answering this. In my Trickster days I saw a lot of traumatized people, and sometimes, out of curiosity, I went back to see what happened later to the victims of the people I meted out justice to."

"What happened to them? Did you learn anything?" While on the one hand, Sam wasn't entirely comfortable with the reminder of Gabriel's vengeful Trickster days, he couldn't deny that it might give him some insight into his own situation.

"Most of them turned out mostly okay in the end, but what I learned was that the one truth about recovery is that there is no one truth about recovery."

Oh?

Oh!

Sam got it. "So, you're saying there's no set timeline for this."

Gabriel made a shooting motion with one hand. "Bingo. That's exactly what I'm saying. Plus, recovery isn't linear. Come on, Sam, surely you've read about stages of grief and how no one goes through them in a straight line."

Of course Sam had. He'd read lots of books on recovery. He just couldn't see how they applied to him.

Gabriel must have read something in his face because he said, "Of course it all applies to you, Sam. Just because you're a Winchester doesn't make you different from the rest of humanity." The archangel placed a gentle hand on Sam's arm as he spoke.

Sam thought about what he'd said for a minute. "Thank you. I think that actually helps. Obviously, I need to rethink some stuff."

"Glad to have helped."

Sam put his own hand over Gabriel's in a friendly, thank you sort of way. He felt something moving under his hand. Not actual movement, but sort of a spiritual movement? As if that even made sense. Then he thought he got it.

"Hey. You're not kidding about the tank being low. I can kind of feel your grace under your skin, and it's really sluggish." Then his thoughts caught up with his mouth. "And why can I feel your grace anyway?"

Gabriel whipped his hand off of Sam's arm, and after a moment of embarrassed stuttering, turned and fled down the street at a dead run.

Sam watched him go with a look of quiet disbelief. What had he said?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whereupon we learn that Dean, of all people, might have insight into what is going on with Gabriel. And that Sam is being uncharacteristically clueless.

Sam walked back to the motel and looked at the door to their room. We wondered if he really wanted to go in and decided he didn't really have any place better to go.

He unlocked the door and went in. Dean was sitting on the couch, feet up on the table, reading-- Was that an actual book? One that wasn't either porn or for research?

"Don't judge, man," Dean said, marking his place with a finger. "Cas has been after me to read _Watership Down_ for ages now."

Sam barked out a laugh. "Your angel has good taste." He went to the fridge, pulled out two beers and tossed one to his brother, who neatly caught it. "And you are so whipped."

Dean shrugged. Oh, wow. His brother wasn't even denying it now. "You work everything out?"

Sam sprawled in one of the chairs. "Not really, but I gave it a good start."

"Gabriel was with you? I’d wondered where he went.”

"Was, yeah. Not now. Something spooked him, and I'm not sure what was up with that."

Dean picked up an old receipt and placed it in the book, replacing his finger. Putting the book down on the table, he asked, "What did you do?"

Sam shrugged and knocked back a swallow of beer. "Really not sure." He frowned. "I'm still confused about most of it."

Opening his bottle, Dean said, "Tell me about it."

"Well, everything started out okay. By the way, you handcuffing him was a real dick move, especially considering everything he's been through."

Dean knocked back his own slug of beer. "Yeah, I know. I was thinking about that right after you two took off. When he comes back, I'll apologize."

"When he comes back?" Sam asked. "You didn't see him take off. He might be gone for good."

Dean shook his head, confidence in the motion. "No, he'll definitely be back. In hindsight, I shouldn't have worried about him taking off."

"Why not?" Sam was genuinely confused now.

Dean gave him a knowing grin. "Dude? You haven't noticed?"

"Noticed what?"

"The way he keeps looking at you? Checking on your reaction to--" He waved his bottle around for emphasis. "--pretty much everything?"

"Huh? No." Sam thought about it, playing back some of the recent interactions. Now that Dean had pointed it out to him, it did seem like Gabriel was looking to him frequently. But why?

"Okay, I see your point, but I'm still not sure why."

Dean gave him his best _I'm going to tease my little brother about getting laid_ look.

"No, Dean! That's definitely not going on."

"You sure?"

Sam huffed out an exasperated sigh. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'd remember getting it on with him."

Dean shrugged. "So, what happened to make him take off?"

"That's the weird thing. It wasn't really anything." He thought about how much he did or did not want to tell his brother. Finally, he decided on, "We were talking about some stuff, and he was giving me...well, kind of some advice, I guess." He paused, but Dean didn't take the opportunity to make another lewd comment.

"He put his hand on my arm, and I put my hand over his. This was the weird part. I swore I could feel his grace moving under his skin. I mentioned that, and he freaked and ran."

As Sam spoke, he watched his brother's expression change. From knowing smirk to mild alarm to understanding.

"What? What do you know that I don't?"

Dean swallowed hard before answering. "Um. Well, Cas kind of warned me about this."

Sam frowned. "Cas warned you about Gabriel?"

Dean shook his head. "No. About him and me." He paused. "Oh, hell. You know I hate talking about this sort of thing, but this is pretty much how Cas put it to me. Angels are supposed to belong to someone or something.” He fiddled with his beer bottle as he spoke. “Like they were made to belong to God. But Chuck is gone and has been gone for a long time. Cas says it's part of why the angels have been so weird in the last few years. They've lost their anchor, so to speak."

Sam nodded, having absolutely no idea where this was going, but if Dean thought it was important, he'd listen.

"So most of them spend all their time up in Heaven, but they can't belong or bond or whatever to each other. They need something else, which leaves all of them in a mess. Cas, though, he was sort of assigned to me, so...well...in angel terms he's always belonged to me."

To Sam's surprise, his older brother blushed the brightest shade of red he'd ever seen on Dean's face. "Well, once I kissed him, and our relationship kind of changed, Cas said the bond might go both ways, and I'd start to feel his grace or something like that."

Sam was pretty sure that _feel his grace_ wasn't exactly how Cas had put it, but he wasn't in the mood to argue the point. "Okay, but what does that have to do with me? First, Gabriel's been on Earth a long time. I doubt he's bonded with a human every 20-30 years or so, making me guess he's figured out some way to deal with it. Or archangels are different or something? And, even if that's not the case, why me?"

Dean took a long swallow of beer and shook his head. "No idea, Sammy. I'm just telling you what Cas said to me."

Now Sam was curious. "So, have you felt his grace?"

The return of the blush was all the answer he needed. Great. More information he did not need about Dean's relationship with his angel. He had only himself to blame. He’d been the one to ask the question.

Sam finished his beer and stood up. "Well, it's not like I'm going to go to sleep after that. I think I'll go sit outside for a bit. Don't wait up."

"Yeah, I was planning to hit the sack in a bit. Don't be too loud on your way in. Long drive tomorrow."

Sam decided not to call bullshit on that. This drive was nothing compared to the Winchester norm, but if Dean wanted to go to bed to jack off to thoughts of Cas, he'd leave him to it.

He needed to figure out what the heck was up with Gabriel.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sam puts his foot in his mouth, manages to remove it, then makes a surprising offer.
> 
> Note the new tag. ;)

Sam went back outside and sat on the curb in front of their room.  
  
This whole situation was just weird. Was Dean saying he thought there was something going on between him and Gabriel? Because that couldn't be true. Not that Sam hadn't had the occasional idle fantasy. But unlike Dean--Sam had known about his brother's bisexuality since forever-- he considered himself firmly in the girl's only camp. And why in the world would an archangel be interested in damaged him? The boy who used to drink demon blood? Who had been considered an abomination by angels? Thankfully, Cas seemed to have moved beyond that, but he doubted many of the other angels had.  
  
Suddenly, he had the oddest feeling that he was being watched. He looked up to see Gabriel perched on the second floor railing. He was swinging his feet back and forth, perfectly in balance.  
  
Sam was annoyed. "Are you going to just sit up there and watch me forever?"  
  
Gabriel shrugged, slid off the railing and landed in front of Sam, a casual display of grace and agility that left Sam briefly breathless. He stood in front of the human, expression neutral. Sam thought maybe it was a bit too carefully neutral.  
  
"So what happened back there? What did I do to make you run?"  
  
Gabriel sat down on the curb, eyes cast down in front of him. "You talked to your brother. That should give you some clue."  
  
"So you heard that?"  
  
"Sure. Didn't Cas ever clue you in to angel hearing?"  
  
"I thought you only heard prayers."  
  
Gabriel laughed, but there wasn't much humor in it. "If only. Yes, we hear those, but we also hear just about everything within, oh several hundred yards. I usually have to make an effort to drown out most of it."  
  
"And of course, you didn't drown out my conversation with Dean?" Sam wasn't sure why this was making him angry, but he could feel his heart rate rising along with his blood pressure.  
  
Gabriel turned his head and met his eyes. "No, I didn't. Since you were basically discussing me, I thought I had the right to know what you were saying. Why is this making you so angry?"  
  
Sam took a few deep breaths because that was a good question. Finally, he said, "I guess I don't know. Mostly I want to know what I did. And if there's anything to what Dean was talking about."  
  
The angel didn't answer for a long minute. "It wasn't anything you did, okay. I ran because I hadn't meant for you to feel that. And, yes, there's something to what Dean was talking about, although not it's not quite what he was thinking."  
  
Now that Gabriel was talking, Sam felt his anger receding. "Still not sure what that means."  
  
Gabriel sighed and leaned back on his hands. "Okay, let's take this one at a time. Yes, what Dean was talking about in regards to angels is true, but it wasn't exactly true for me."  
  
"What does that even mean?"  
  
"It means that when Loki gave me his power, it buffered me against my angelic need to...oh heck, we'll go with belong. It works as well as anything. As long as I was Loki, I wasn't affected by being cut off from Dad."  
  
Sam thought maybe he knew what was coming next. "But you don't have Loki's power anymore?"  
  
"Right in one, Sam."  
  
"But I still don't get it. Why was I able to feel your grace? I mean, you can't be...bonding or whatever...with me."  
  
Gabriel stood up and started to walk off. Sam hurried to his feet and followed him, reaching out a hand to stop him. The archangel whirled, straightening to his full height, eyes flashing blue. The scent as of an approaching thunderstorm filled the air.  
  
Sam dropped his hand to his side. Again, he wasn't sure what he'd done, but he recognized _back off_ language when he saw it. "I'm sorry. I don't want to make you angry, but that seems to be what I'm doing here. If you'll just explain so a slow human can figure it out."  
  
Gabriel's body language changed again with quicksilver speed. Instead of looking like he was going to smite Sam, his shoulders rolled as if he were mantling his invisible wings protectively over Sam.  
  
What the heck?  
  
"You're not the slow one, Sam. Didn't I already basically say that earlier today?"  
  
Sam spread his arms in confusion. "Well, I must be because I still have no idea what you're trying to tell me."  
  
Gabriel sighed, lowering his shoulders, folding in on himself. Sam was reminded of a trip to a nature preserve where he'd seen a wounded falcon sitting on a perch, hunched over with one wing carefully held close to his body. The memory evoked a mixture of protectiveness and sadness toward the archangel, which left him confused and unsettled.

Gabriel walked back to the curb and sat down, with none of his usual grace. Sam followed, carefully keeping several feet of space between them.  
  
"I'm sorry, Sam. This has been a pretty rotten few days. I was hoping not to have this conversation, but we don't always get what we want." He sighed deeply. "Okay, yes, what little grace I have is reaching out to you."  
  
"What!" Sam exclaimed. "Why me?"  
  
Gabriel gave a small huff of rueful laughter. "It might be better to ask why not you. You and I have a lot in common if you think about it. Absent father. Older brother who expects things of you that you don't want. You try to get away, but a brother shows up whining about a missing father and expects you to do something about it." He paused. "Okay, that last might be a bit of a stretch. Castiel didn't actually ask me to help find dear old Dad, but that's probably just because he didn't know where to find me."  
  
Sam had never thought of the parallels before, but when they were laid out like that, they were kind of obvious. "But that's not what you said when we confronted you in the warehouse. You compared us to your older brothers."  
  
Gabriel shook his head sadly. "Really, Sam? You've never heard of misdirection? Sure, that was all true. It just wasn't the real truth."  
  
"Then what is the real truth?"  
  
Gabriel unfurled his body and straightened again. "You haven't guessed it yet? Sam, I've been attracted to you from the first moment I saw you. Which, by the way, was not when you showed up on that college campus. I've been watching you much longer than that."  
  
Sam was...floored. He wasn't certain what to think about what he'd just heard. Gabriel was attracted to him? What was he supposed to do with that? What did he want to do about it?  
  
When Sam didn't say anything, Gabriel curled back in on himself again. He stood up. "Look, I'm tired. Suppose you could get your brother to lend me his car keys? I can crash in the back seat." He looked down at himself, as if disgusted by his vessel. "I'm certainly short enough." He turned to walk to the car.  
  
Sam mentally shook himself out of his surprise. He wasn't sure what to do with what he'd heard yet, but he knew that Gabriel didn't need to deal with his shit on top of his own. As for sleeping in the car, not a chance.  
  
"Gabe, stop." He wasn't going to make the mistake of trying to touch him again.  
  
Gabriel took a step or two but then stopped without turning. "What now, Sam?"  
  
He wished now that he could reach out. There was so much pain, regret and self-loathing in those three words. "Look, I'm sorry."  
  
"I don't want your pity!" Gabriel didn't turn, but he did straighten again to his full height.  
  
"Listen for a minute and leave your pride out of this!" Sam snapped.  
  
He immediately regretted his outburst.  
  
Now, Gabriel turned, his eyes flashing blue again. "My pride? _My_ pride? That's rich coming from you right now!"  
  
Sam held out his hands in a placating gesture. "When I said I was sorry, I meant for my behavior. This is pretty sudden for me. I don't know what to make of it. Give me some time to process everything, and then maybe we can have a discussion without me feeling like a fish out of water."  
  
Gabriel stood his ground for another moment before nodding. "All right. That's fair. But I still need someplace to sleep."  
  
Sam thought about offering to get him his own room, but as soon as the idea crossed his mind, he rejected it. He didn't want Gabriel to be alone in a cut-rate hotel room. He had a better idea. "The car's not that comfortable, even if you're shorter than I am. Come inside. Sleep on one side of my bed."  
  
Gabriel tilted his head, like a hawk examining prey. "And where are you planning on sleeping? Don't tell me the couch. I already napped there. Don't recommend it."  
  
Sam gave him a challenging grin. "I don't know. I was thinking about sleeping on the other side of my bed."  
  
Gabriel actually took a minute to work that out. "You're serious?"  
  
"Yes," Sam said simply.  
  
"You mean just sleeping, right? This isn't code for something weird?"  
  
Sam's grin grew wider. "I thought you were into weird, but no, just sleeping."  
  
That surprised a half-laugh out of Gabriel. A moment later, he shrugged and said, "All right."  
  
Sam unlocked the door and went in. Dean was already in bed, on his stomach, snoring softly. That sound still meant _home_ to Sam.  
  
He motioned Gabriel to the bed but then paused, motioned to the bathroom and raised an eyebrow.  
  
He gave a wry grin, mouthed, "Archangel, remember?" and shook his head. He moved to the bed and lay down on top of the covers, carefully keeping to one side of the bed.  
  
Sam rummaged in the drawer he'd unpacked into, took out his sleep wear and padded softly into the bathroom. Dean didn't usually wake up to his brother moving around, but Sam wanted to avoid any awkward questions about the angel in his bed.  
  
As he brushed his teeth, he thought about the conversation he'd just had with Gabriel. It had been nothing he'd expected, and he wanted to get back to the Bunker to get more information from Castiel.  
  
However, right now he was tired, and he'd be able to think about this better after sleep.  
  
He finished and went back into the main room. Gabriel was still curled on his side, facing the wall. Sam settled himself under the covers, also being careful to stay on his own side. No need to make this more awkward than it needed to be.  
  
Still, he found the archangel warmth at his back to be comforting as he drifted off.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whereupon Sam wakes up with an archangel blanket; pie is eaten and a case is found.
> 
> In other words, a normal Winchester day. Well, except for the archangel blanket.

When Sam drifted awake, he was briefly disoriented. Dean's breathing was even, and Sam's nose was filled with cheap motel funk mixed with old cigarette smoke. Those things were all normal. What wasn't normal was the warmth curled up against his back and the arm thrown casually over his chest.

Wait, what? Was Gabriel cuddling him? So much for not making things awkward.

Sam listened to his brother's breathing again. After so many years of sleeping in the same room, Sam could gauge to within in a few minutes when Dean was going to wake up. Based on the sounds coming from the next bed, it was still going to be a little while.

Which was good because Sam was actually enjoying the feeling of waking up in bed with someone, even if that someone was male and technically not human. Sam's bed had been empty for years, and, while he tolerated the lack, he really enjoyed being touched, which obviously didn't happen often enough in his life.

He closed his eyes and decided to appreciate this for as long as it lasted.

As he lay there, basking in the warmth, he gradually became aware of something moving against his back. He frowned, trying to figure it out. Then he got it. The movement was Gabriel's grace curling like slow waves under his skin. It wasn't something he'd ever experienced before, and he wasn't sure he'd know how to describe it if someone had asked him, but it was...nice.

As he lay there, the motion of the grace shifted, as if becoming concentrated in one spot. Okay, that was weird. What became weirder was the sensation that the grace was reaching out to him.

The warmth at his back vanished, and Sam heard Gabriel backpedaling off the bed. He cracked open one eye and saw Gabriel dashing for the couch. He threw himself on it and managed to look as if he'd been there all night.

Dean rolled over in his sleep, and Sam heard the rhythm of his breathing change. His brother would be awake soon. Which meant if Sam wanted the shower, he'd better get it now.

Pushing off the covers, he got out of bed, glancing over at Gabriel on the couch. One hazel eye was cracked open, watching him. Sam nodded by way of greeting, grabbed a change of clothes from his drawer and padded into the bathroom.

When he came back out, showered and changed, Dean and Gabriel were sitting at the small kitchen table, apparently bonding over coffee. "Hey, guys. Shower's free for whoever wants it."

Gabriel shook his head. Right, angels, even de-powered ones, didn't need showers. Dean gulped back his coffee and stood up. "Pack up, Sammy. We're going as soon as I'm out of there."

Dean walked to the bathroom, leaving Sam's plaintive, "What? No breakfast?" in his wake.

Sam packed his bag, which took only a couple of minutes. As he worked, he kept glancing over his shoulder at Gabriel sitting at the table. The angel hunched over his coffee, occasionally drinking, but mostly just staring at it.

Once his bags were packed and dropped by the door, he poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down opposite Gabriel. He listened to the sounds in the bathroom. At least ten minutes before Dean would be out.

"Hey," he said to Gabriel. "My brother apologized?"

The angel nodded. "Yeah. And told me that I could hang around pretty much as long as I wanted. Power or no power." He paused. "Your brother's more okay than I thought. I think my brother has been good for him."

Sam nodded. "Yeah, he's been a lot easier in himself." He wasn't sure how to ask his next question.

Before he could work it out, Gabriel said, "Sorry about this morning."

Sam tilted his head. "Sorry for what?"

The angel waved his hands, almost knocking over his coffee. "Umm. You waking up with me all over you. I didn't mean to do that."

Sam smiled, considered for a moment and then decided to chance it. He reached out and clasped Gabriel's forearm. The angel looked down as if he'd been burned, but Sam left his hand where it was. When Gabriel didn't pull back, Sam said, "Look. I didn't mind. I like physical contact, but-" He motioned with his head in the direction of the bathroom. "Dean's not much for that. So, I guess what I'm saying is that sometimes I get a bit touch-starved. It was nice to wake up to that this morning."

Gabriel just looked at Sam as if he'd been transported to a different universe where the laws of time and Winchesters didn't apply. "You're serious?"

"Yeah."

"But how can you be serious? What do you think is happening here?'

Sam shrugged. "No idea, actually. But I'm willing to figure it out as we go along." He noticed motion under his fingers. "By the way, your grace is still trying to do that thing. Should I move my hand?"

Gabriel looked at Sam's hand on his arm and nodded, although he looked reluctant about it. "Yeah. You need to know a bit more about what that entails before you say yes to anything else."

Sam nodded and removed his hand. His palm felt oddly cold.

The shower turned off and both turned to look at the bathroom door. "We can finish this conversation later," Sam said.

By the time Dean came out, they were both drinking coffee as if nothing had happened.

***

Halfway to the Bunker, of course, they had to stop for pie. While waiting for Sam and Gabriel to get back the previous evening, Dean had Googled for pie along the route and found Granny Scott's Pie Shop in Lakewood, Colorado.

Sam noted that Dean was in a particularly good mood, considering everything that was going on in their lives, and he was happy for his brother. If going back to Cas had this effect on him, Sam was all for it. There had been times when he'd worried that his brother had too little to live for, and if that had changed, it was all good.

Everyone ordered pie. Dean had apple with ice cream. Sam opted for pumpkin--it was the healthiest option available--while Gabriel went for lemon meringue.

Sam was checking a notification on his tablet when Dean motioned to Gabriel's pie. "I thought angels couldn't taste."

Out of the corner of his eye, Sam noted Gabriel's utter confusion. "Where'd you get that notion? Did you _see_ me all those years ago?"

Dean put his fork down on his empty plate and eyed the menu as if considering another piece. "From Cas. Metatron stole his grace, and he became human and had to eat like regular people. When he got his grace back, he said all he could taste was molecules."

Gabriel gave an elaborate eye roll. "Come on. You're taking the word of my little bro, who, I might add, has occupied his vessel for little more than a couple of years."

Sam continued reading the article on his tablet, only listening to the conversation with half an ear.

"Cas has been in that vessel for more like a decade, man."

"When you're as old as I am, that's an eye blink."

Something in Gabriel's tone caught Sam's attention. In the time he had known the archangel, he had heard humor, anger, fatigue, pain and exasperation in the angel's voice. What he hadn't heard, until now, was age. The age that only comes when you've existed for centuries, watching people be born, live their lives and die. Over and over again.

As quickly as it has come, it was gone, and Gabriel continued. "Anyway, I've been in my vessel for centuries now. It's a part of me and I'm a part of it. I've learned to experience its senses the way you do, while still retaining my angel senses. Give Cas a few more years. He'll get the hang of it."

"So you're going to continue eating candy like there's no tomorrow?" Dean asked.

Gabriel shook his head and took another bite of his pie before he answered. "No. Most of my sweet tooth in those days came from carrying Loki's power. Now my tastes run a lot closer to human normal." He looked down at his plate. "I like texture almost more than taste. And the best pie for texture is lemon meringue." He took another bite and held it in his mouth, obviously savoring it.

Sam took another bite of his own pie and appreciated the texture in a way he hadn't before. Huh. Gabriel might be on to something.

"Whatever. As long as you don't just eat rabbit food like Samantha here."

Absently, still finishing the article on his tablet, Sam gave his brother the middle finger.

Dean laughed but suddenly appeared to notice where his brother's attention was focused. "What are you reading?"

Sam looked up at two sets of eyes regarding him. He idly noticed that Gabriel's eyes looked almost golden in this light. "I think I've found a case. It's even on our way."

Dean sighed and pointedly looked at his watch. "Cas is expecting us in a few hours."

Right, because Dean just wanted to introduce his angel to the concept of texture. Sam's mind shied away from that thought almost as soon as he had it. He handed over the tablet. "Take a look."

With obvious reluctance, Dean took the tablet and started reading excerpts out loud. "Mysterious death. Throat torn out. Bite marks don't match any animal."

"Read the next paragraph," Sam prompted.

Dean swiped up and stopped. "Bodies completely drained of blood." He handed the tablet back to Sam. "Okay, definitely our kind of case." He looked at his watch again.

"Hey," Sam said. "How about this? Drop me and Gabe off. We'll work the case while you go get Cas." Suddenly realizing he was making some pretty big assumptions, he looked over at Gabriel, who seemed amused by the whole thing. "Assuming you're okay with that. I can probably work it myself if you'd rather stay with Dean. I can always hot wire a car to get back."

Gabriel shook his head. "I said I'd help you guys. Working a case is way more like helping than riding several hours in a car with Dean pining over my baby bro. I'm game. Let's do it."


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we learn why it's wise to hunt with archangels. And Gabriel wears a suit. Yes, it is a nice image. :)

About four hours later, they arrived in Colby, Kansas. It was a typical Kansas town with a population of around five thousand if Sam had to guess. He and his brother had done so many hunts in towns like this that he'd gotten to be an expert at guessing population.

They had stopped by Walmart to get Gabriel a suit. Dean's suggestion, about an hour outside of Colby, had led to a (mostly) friendly debate about the suitability (or not) of Walmart clothing which had ended when the archangel learned, to his chagrin, that he still didn't have enough juice in the tank to whistle up a suit.

Of course, Gabriel being Gabriel, as soon as he put on the ill-fitting suit, he discovered he did have enough juice to tailor it. Sam called him on it, pointing out that the kind of lowly FBI agents who would be investigating this sort of case probably didn't earn enough for that level of tailoring. Gabriel grumbled, and knocked back the level of tailoring to "fit well" from "fit like he'd been born to it."

There had been another debate about automobiles, and Dean had won this one, pointing out that FBI agents didn't usually walk to police stations from cheap motels and get all sweaty. Sam conceded the point and hot-wired a late model sedan they found one town over. He made a mental note to leave a (not even slightly accurate) explanation of why the car had gone on a joyride from Brewster to Colby.

They moved gear from Baby to the new car in the Walmart parking lot. Sam rummaged around in the trunk, making sure he had everything he'd need. He doubted Gabriel had enough juice to summon an archangel blade, so he tapped his brother on the shoulder and asked, "Dean, where's the spare angel blade?"

Without even looking, Dean reached into a corner of the trunk and produced the blade. It was a complete mess in there, but the elder Winchester could find anything within seconds. Sam grunted his thanks and handed the silvery blade to Gabriel.

The angel took it and gave it a look usually reserved for cute, if slightly obnoxious, pets. "You do realize this is the equivalent of a water gun to me?" However, Sam noticed he made it vanish up one sleeve readily enough, with a muttered "Just until I can summon my own."

Sam gave an internal nod. He'd called that one right.

Dean handed Sam a machete and said casually, "Water guns came in really handy against Leviathan."

The sudden, complete silence from behind them made both Winchesters turn to see Gabriel's stunned expression.

"What?" Dean asked.

"You guys fought Leviathan? When was this?"

Dean grunted. "Huh. You really have missed a lot. Fought them after Cas decided to try the God route by sucking up souls from Purgatory."

Gabriel tilted his head and blinked at them. "And how'd that work out for him?"

"Pretty much as well as you'd expect," Sam replied.

Gabriel got this look in his eyes, as if he were calculating. A moment later, they snapped back into focus and he said, "Borax?"

Dean grinned. "Got it in one."

Gabriel nodded, a look suspiciously like respect spreading across his face. "Good thinking. Those fuckers are nasty."

"Tell us about it," Sam said, slipping a shotgun into his bag.

Gabriel pointedly cleared his throat and eyed the shotgun.

"What?" Dean asked. "You want one of those? Know how to use one?"

That elicited another look, this one the kind reserved for puppies messing on the carpet. "Hello," he said, drawing the word out. "Archangel. Been on Earth for millennia. You monkeys haven't invented a weapon I haven't used."

Dean reached into the trunk, drew out a shotgun and handed it to Gabriel, challenge evident in every move.

The archangel took the weapon, broke it expertly and examined the gun professionally. He held out a hand, and Dean gave him several shells, which Gabriel confidently loaded into the breech. Then he closed and latched it with a casual one-handed motion and looked at Dean, a smug half-smile on his face.

Dean nodded. "You'll do." He glanced through Sam's bag, as if doing a final inventory, and closed the Impala's trunk. "I think that's everything you need. I'll head to the Bunker, pick up Cas and meet you back here. Assuming you two can solve a simple vampire case without help, we can head back after that and figure out our next moves about Michael."

Gabriel gave a small huff that sounded like annoyance but didn't say anything.

Sam nodded, shouldered his bag and said, "Sounds like a plan." He'd already changed into his suit and looked ready.

"Wait a minute," Dean said as he walked around to the driver's door. He opened it and rummaged in the center console. A moment later, he pulled out two badges. Handing one to Gabriel, he said, "I assume you can change the photo. This one should be perfect for you."

The archangel read the name on the badge and started laughing. He sat down on Baby's bumper and laughed for at least a minute.

Sam glanced at the name on his own badge and joined Gabriel's laughter.

Dean just watched both of them with a self-satisfied smirk.

***

This small a town didn't have a coroner's office, so Sam and Gabriel drove to the local county government building, which served many duties, including coroner and police station.

On their way in, Gabriel glanced around quickly.

"What?" Sam asked.

The angel reached out. Sam felt a tiny buzz, and, suddenly, his suit fit better.

"If we're going to be seen in public together, you're going to have to look the part."

Sam looked down at himself. Gabriel had whistled up basically the same level of tailoring as on his own suit. The hunter had to admit that it did feel better. However, he said, "Aren't you supposed to be recovering your grace?"

Gabriel shrugged. "That used hardly any, and it was totally worth it."

Sam snorted and opened the door into the building. With the ease of long practice, he headed for the lobby desk. As he walked, he pulled out his FBI badge. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Gabriel doing the same.

"Agents Collins and Gabriel, ma'am," Sam said to the woman behind the counter. She appeared to be about thirty, with short brown hair, brown eyes and glasses. She was dressed in a police uniform, and he noted her name tag read "Williams."

She looked at both badges with an air of suspicion. "What brings the FBI to our town?"

Sam was about to answer when Gabriel leaned over the counter and fixed her with his amber gaze. He combined flirtatious and professional in exactly the right measure, and Sam watched her expression relax before Gabriel had spoken his first word.

Sam decided he'd keep his mouth shut and enjoy this.

"I know, Ms. or is it Mrs. Williams?"

"Carol," she responded.

Gabriel smiled, warm without crossing any lines. "Carol. A lovely name. Now, I'm sure your excellent town has had little reason to entertain a visit from the FBI, and ours is merely routine. I understand there was a recent murder?"

She nodded. "That's right, but it was just an animal attack. Nothing the FBI would want to investigate."

Sam noted that she seemed slightly disappointed that she couldn't offer anything more interesting to keep them here. His eyes darted to her left hand. No ring.

Gabriel leaned a bit further into her personal space, smile still in place. "I know. That's exactly what I told my superior here." He made a little bob of his head in Sam's direction.

Playing along, Sam adopted a stern expression.

Carol's eyes went back and forth between them. A slight frown appeared on her forehead. "Surely you're the senior one here, Agent Gabriel?"

Sam had to work hard to keep his stern expression.

Gabriel winked at her. "You know how it is. Once a field agent, always a field agent. Anyway, I'm sure you're right, but I don't suppose there's any chance we could take a look at the body and autopsy report?"

She nodded. "I'll have to ask the Chief, but I'm sure he won't have a problem with it."

"We'd appreciate it, Carol," Gabriel said, voice still smooth.

She nodded and went into the back, presumably to check in with the afore-mentioned Chief.

"Smooth," Sam said, his voice pitched for angel hearing.

Gabriel flashed him a quick grin. "And I bet you were thinking working with me would be like working with Castiel, who couldn't even hold his badge the right way up."

Sam stifled a bark of laughter at that. "No, I figured you'd be better than that, but I am surprised some of those lines worked as well as they did."

"It's all in the delivery, Sammich," Gabriel said, his tone smug.

Sammich? He couldn't decided whether to laugh or groan.

Carol came back a moment later. "Chief's busy, but he said he didn't see any reason not to let you see the body. He did warn me that you'd find it a huge waste of time."

"It's our time to waste, ma'am," Sam said, keeping his voice stern, as if he'd just dressed down his "subordinate."

Carol gave Gabriel a sympathetic look as she ushered them into the back.

Gabriel let her get a few steps ahead of him before he turned to give Sam an approving wink.

She led them to a room which was barely large enough to hold an examining table and a free-standing mortuary cabinet. She opened the cabinet and pulled out the only body it contained. "Report's on that shelf over there."

Sam picked up the indicated report while Gabriel skillfully guided her out of the room with a quiet, "Thank you, and I'm sure we'll be out of your way soon."

Sam flipped through the report while Gabriel examined the body.

"Definitely a vampire kill," Gabriel said absently.

Sam glanced up just in time to see the angel lean over the body and...was he actually smelling it?

"Gross, man!"

Gabriel waved him off. "I can focus down to just one scent if I want to." Another sniff, and he straightened up. "Thought I caught that when she opened the cabinet."

"Caught what?"

Gabriel flashed him a concerned look. "Werewolf."

Sam blinked. "Werewolf? You mean we're looking at a vampire and a werewolf working together?"

"Possibly more than one. The scent is faint, but I'm fairly sure there was the scent of at least two werewolves on that body."

Sam flipped open the report again. "That explains why they said it looked like the work of different types of animals. Of course, they are thinking scavengers, not predators."

Gabriel was examining the body closely. "Considering that you hunters have basically hunted both vampire and werewolves into near extinction, I'm surprised they didn't start working together before now."

"Good point," Sam said, watching the archangel examine the body.

"What I don't understand," Gabriel said after a moment. "...is why they didn't try to turn him. Looks like a healthy guy." He poked the corpse's arm "Decent muscle tone. Not much fat. Fairly young. Would have made a decent vampire or werewolf."

"I'm less worried about why they didn't turn him than I am about finding the nest and/or pack."

Gabriel walked away from the body, obviously finished with his exam. "Oh, that's easy."

Sam raised an eyebrow as he put down the autopsy report. "Oh?"

"Sure. Let me show you why you hunt with archangels."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, free-standing mortuary cabinets are a thing. And I have the Google search to prove it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we learn that angel blades aren't just for show when wielded by an Archangel.

Back at the car, Sam said, "You're going to do what?"

Gabriel had the expression you get when explaining things to particularly slow children. "Angel senses, Sam. Every creature has a distinct presence, which I can sense. If I was at full power, I could find the werewolf from miles away. With my current power level, it'll be more like 500 feet or so. Which means we drive around until I get a blip on my angel radar."

Sam shook his head. "So you're basically going to track him like a bloodhound?"

Gabriel sighed. "That's not exactly how I would have put it, but if that's the easiest way for you to conceptualize it, then fine."

Sam gave him a grin. "Let's get a motel room so we can change out of these suits, and we'll start driving around."

"Change out of your suit?" Gabriel asked with a smirk. "Why? You look so good in yours."

Sam rolled his eyes at the angel and decided not to mention that he was developing a thing for Gabriel's new leather jacket.

There was a Motel 6 not too far away, and they were able to get a room--Sam didn't even propose two rooms--and change back into more appropriate hunting gear. A text came in from Dean while Sam was double checking to see if he had any anti-werewolf ammo. He read the text and chuckled.

Gabriel looked up from tying his shoes. "What's so funny?"

"Dean says he just got to the Bunker but that he and Cas won't be leaving right away."

Gabriel developed a wicked half-smile. "Did he say why?"

Sam gave him a wide grin in return. "Something about research."

"Oh, is that what they're calling it these days?"

"Apparently."

He handed four shotgun shells to Gabriel. "Werewolf load. One part silver shot to three parts regular."

Gabriel took the shells and reloaded his shotgun with the new ammunition. "Good thinking. You must have been a Boy Scout."

Sam huffed out a bark of laughter. "Hardly."

One last check of their gear, and they left the room. Once in the car, Sam pulled up a map of the town on his tablet. Scrolling around, he stopped, and handed the tablet to Gabriel, who took it and asked, "What am I looking at?"

"I'm thinking the outskirts are the place to start. I don't see a nest being in the middle of town."

Gabriel scrolled around on the map. For an angel, he was oddly comfortable with technology. "Makes sense." He pointed to a small development. "Something about that's making my senses tingle."

"I thought that was a Spiderman thing," Sam said, taking and stowing the tablet.

"Hey, angels had it first."

They drove off, Sam navigating to the location he'd found on the map. As soon as they arrived in the neighborhood, he slowed down to a crawl, glad he'd boosted an automatic. Keeping this speed in a manual would have been impossible.

"Because this isn't creepy? Two guys slow driving through a residential neighborhood?" Gabriel commented. Sam noticed the nerves in his voice.

"I want to give you a chance to get a good...err...look?"

Gabriel closed his eyes and leaned back in the passenger seat. "Not my eyes I'm using here, Sam."

They made two passes through the neighborhood before Gabriel shook his head. "Not getting even a twinge. Guess my angel senses were wrong." Sam could hear the defeated frustration in his tone.

Sam drove to a nearby strip mall and got out his tablet again. After a moment, he said, "Okay. We'll try this one."

When he handed the tablet over this time, their hands brushed, and Sam felt a surge of grace.

"Sorry about that," Gabriel said absently as he looked at what Sam had found this time.

Sam knew they were going to have to deal with this at some point. It seemed like Gabriel's grace was getting more determined as time went on.

Gabriel handed back the tablet, obviously being careful not to touch Sam. "Yeah, that looks promising. We'll try that."

Sam drove to the new neighborhood and repeated his slow drive. One older lady gave them a suspicious look as they went by, but no one else seemed to notice.

As they reached the end of a street, Gabriel straightened in his seat. "That one," he said.

Sam drove a few yards further and parked by the curb. "Which one?"

Gabriel turned in his seat, and pointed. "That one. With the junk in the yard."

Sam turned to look where Gabriel had pointed. It was a dilapidated ranch-style house that looked as if it had once been painted a light blue. Now it just looked a tired gray. There was a ragged chain-link fence surrounding it, and the yard was hazardous with cast-off toys, old appliances and rusty auto parts.

"They are definitely bringing down the property values," Gabriel commented.

"Any idea how many are in there?" Sam asked, ignoring the real estate commentary.

Gabriel shook his head. "The werewolf I detected on the body is there, but I can't determine any more than that." He frowned down at himself. "If I only had more grace."

Sam placed a hand on his shoulder. "You've got plenty for what we need to do." He pulled his hand back abruptly as Gabriel's grace surged toward him.

"Yeah, better not do that again," the angel said, tone matter of fact.

"Right. How do we want to do this?"

Gabriel shrugged. "You're the hunter."

Sam didn't like the defeated note in his voice. "And you're an Archangel of the Lord. Don't tell me you've never planned strategy."

Sam was glad to see the angel straighten a bit at that. "Well, maybe."

"Okay, then. We've got the shotguns for the werewolves. And the machete for the vampires. I think you should take the machete. I've seen your blade work."

Gabriel gave him a small smile. "All right. You want to go in the front, shotgun blazing? I'll go in through the back?"

"Are we sure there is a back door?"

"Only one way to find out. Give me a minute," Gabriel said as he opened the car door.

Sam wanted to call him back, but he knew he had to let the archangel do this. Didn't mean he liked him going off alone.

Gabriel vanished around the corner of the house two doors down from their target. Sam waited, body tense in anticipation of all the things that could go wrong.

Long minutes passed. Sam was seriously considering heading after Gabriel, and his hand was on the door handle when someone knocked on the passenger side door. Sam whirled, gun in hand but breathed in relief when he saw it was Gabriel. He frowned and said, "You open your own damn door."

Gabriel was grinning as he climbed in the car. "Okay, there is a back door, as I'd thought. Kind of tricky to get there around all the trash, so I think you going in the front is still the best plan."

"Were you able to get any feel for how many there were inside?"

Gabriel half-nodded. "I heard at least four distinct voices and as many presences, but there may be more. Monsters generally make less noise than you humans."

Sam shot him an inquiring look. "What about that angel radar?" He deliberately kept his tone light and teasing.

Gabriel rolled his eyes at him. "It's not exactly like radar. For monsters especially, I need some hint to start with. Like a voice or a scent."

Sam nodded and gave him an encouraging smile. Oddly enough, he liked it when he learned angels had a few limitations. "So at least four. Any idea where they are?"

"It sounded like three were close to the front. I heard the fourth as I was approaching the back door."

"All right. How long do you need to get into position?"

Gabriel considered for a moment. "The yard is a mess. Better give me five minutes, to be safe."

"I can do that. Let's move a few more doors down and gear up." Sam started the engine and drove just out of sight of the house. They both got out, and Sam opened the trunk and got out his bag. He handed Gabriel his shotgun and machete. The angel glanced back and forth down the street and took the weapons. Sam grabbed his shotgun, extra shells and Ruby's knife, because it was familiar. He lifted up his jacket to conceal his pistol in the waistband of his jeans.

"Let's go."

Gabriel nodded and moved off, stride smoothing into that of a predator. Sam was again reminded of how much the archangel sometimes resembled a bird of prey.

Within a minute, Gabriel had moved out of his site, and Sam kept an eye on his watch. When Gabriel had been out of sight for two minutes, the tall hunter started to move. He walked casually down the street, attempting to look as if he belonged.

Right at the five minute mark, he arrived. Taking a deep breath, he kicked in the door and moved into the room.

Motion caught his eye, and he turned left, firing his shotgun. It was loaded with anti-werewolf shells. The man dropped immediately and didn't move.

Sam heard a crash and shotgun blast from the back of the house and knew Gabriel had started his part of the assault. Assuming the archangel had taken down his target, he mentally added one to the count of downed monsters.

He scanned the room and saw something charging him from the right. Another blast from his shotgun stopped the man for a moment but didn't take him down. _Vampire_ , Sam's mind helpfully provided.

He lowered the shotgun and pulled out his knife. It wouldn't kill a vampire, but it might slow him down long enough for Gabriel to get in here with the machete.

One more shotgun blast, a few feet closer this time.

The vampire charged Sam, who dropped into a crouch to meet it. He moved close, inside the monster's reach, and thrust upward. The vampire grunted and tried to rip out his throat. With his other hand, Sam managed to get the shotgun between his own neck and the vampire's fangs, the gun acting as a shield. He slashed again at the vampire, hoping to wound him enough to slow him for a moment.

Just then a machete blade sliced through the vampire's neck, and the head fell, rolling several feet away on the filthy floor.

Sam straightened, and his breath caught for a moment when he saw Gabriel.

The archangel was standing at his full height, head darting back and forth, alert for threats. His shoulders rolled back, as if he were mantling invisible wings. He held the angel blade in one hand and the machete in the other and looked as if he could use either with equal proficiency.

Gabriel was gorgeous.

Unfortunately, Sam didn't have time to admire him. Something came through the front door at the same time as another threat came charging down the stairs to Sam's left.

They didn't need to signal or communicate in any way. As if they had been hunting together for decades, Gabriel darted to the side to deal with the vampire coming down the stairs, while Sam whirled to meet the werewolf behind him.

He swore to himself, wishing he'd had time to reload the shotgun.

The werewolf came in low, claws extended. Shit! This one was a pureblood and could transform in the middle of the day. Not good.

Sam danced back a few steps, surprisingly graceful for such a large man. He managed to get behind a table and used the few seconds the cover bought him to try to remember what he'd loaded his pistol with. Had he put in silver bullets?

The werewolf darted around the table, trying to claw Sam, moving to keep the furniture between them. He tossed the shotgun at the monster, who wasted a second dodging the projectile. Then the wolf wasted another few precious seconds, grinning at how his prey had disarmed himself.

Sam was vaguely aware of Gabriel and the vampire circling each other. This vampire must be the Sire to be giving an angel so much trouble.

He couldn't spend any time worrying about Gabriel, however. He reached behind himself, pulling out his pistol.

The werewolf grinned, obviously not worried about a gun.

 _That overconfidence is going to get you killed_ , Sam thought to himself as he took aim and fired.

Direct hit.

Too bad he had loaded the gun with the wrong ammunition.

The werewolf shook himself as if he'd been bitten by a mosquito and slammed the table to one side, tossing it into the far wall.

Damn! No cover and the wrong damned ammo. Fortunately, the shotgun slid in his direction. Sam dropped his useless pistol and grabbed the shotgun, hoping to find a moment to reload.

The werewolf charged, and Sam again used the shotgun as a shield for his vulnerable throat. He slashed out with his knife and scored a long, deep slash along the monster's ribs. Unfortunately, it barely slowed him.

Sam backpedaled desperately. And tripped over a wrinkle in the carpet.

As he fell, he managed to get the shotgun positioned across his throat.

The werewolf dove on him, fangs extended, reaching for the hunter's jugular.

Sam slashed desperately with his knife, but missed.

Just then Gabriel slammed into the werewolf, knocking the monster off of Sam.

"Reload, Sam!" Gabriel shouted as he fought the werewolf with both machete and angel blade. Sam was briefly distracted by the dance-like qualities of his movements, but he quickly refocused and rummaged in his pocket for two more shells. Of course, he dropped one, but he still had another, and he slammed it home in the shotgun. Closing it with a quick motion of his left arm, he tracked Gabriel and the werewolf.

The werewolf was trying to get away from the archangel, obviously wanting to get back to the more vulnerable human, but Gabriel foiled each of its efforts, one blade or the other appearing as if by magic to block whichever direction the monster tried to move.

Sam lifted the shotgun and yelled, "Gabriel. Down!"

The archangel dropped to his knees, and Sam fired, exploding the werewolf's head all over the filthy living room.

"About time," Gabriel said.

Sam stood for a moment, panting. It wasn't fair that angels didn't get winded in fights. "You try reloading a shotgun while in the middle of not getting killed by a werewolf."

"Point taken," Gabriel said with a small smile. "Nice shooting."

"Thanks. Now will you go get your shotgun so we can get out of here before the neighbors all show up?"

Gabriel nodded and started for the back of the house. Sam decided going out the back way was sensible and followed him.

They made it back to the car without incident, and, once again, Sam thanked the Winchester luck. It didn't keep them from needing to deal with monsters, but it did usually keep them out of trouble with the law.

As they drove off, Gabriel commented, "Well now I know why my angel senses were tickled by the last neighborhood."

Sam nodded. "Yeah, that pureblood that showed up last. He must have been there when we looked on my tablet."

"Would have been nice to know about him earlier. I wasn't sure I'd be able to take care of the vampire in time to help you out."

"Yeah," Sam said. "Thanks for that. And nice sword fighting. You looked good back there."

"Aww, Sam. You noticed."

Once again, Gabriel was making light of the good things he had done. Sam wished he would stop that but figured, like any recovery, it would take time.

"Of course I noticed. I make a point of noticing anyone who saves my ass in a fight."

He was expecting some sort of quip about his ass, but Gabriel remained silent for the rest of the drive back to the motel.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we finally find out what is going on with Gabriel and his recalcitrant grace.

As soon as Sam opened the door to the motel room, his phone beeped. He dropped his gear on the bed and checked his phone. “Huh. Dean and Cas are finally on their way.” 

Gabriel was putting down the machete and shotgun. “If that was all the longer they could manage, I need to have a talk with my brother.”

Sam chuckled. “Pretty sure Dean isn't going to be happy about you giving sex advice to his angel.”

He turned to look at Gabriel who was looking back at him, eyes glowing golden in the light filtering through the curtains. Sam swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry. He was never certain who moved first, but within seconds, they were kissing. Sam wrapped his arms around the smaller angel and lifted him up, bringing their lips closer. Gabriel opened his mouth in invitation, and Sam took him up on it, plundering Gabriel’s mouth with his tongue.

Gabriel slid his tongue around Sam's and did...something...that made his cock go from half-way interested to fully hard. Sam groaned in Gabriel’s mouth and gripped the angel tighter, slotting Gabriel’s hardness against him. A tiny part of Sam’s brain was trying to tell him this was a bad idea, but he didn’t listen. It felt so good to be in someone’s arms, to kiss and be kissed. The wet slide of tongue and mouth. The rasp of stubble against him. He’d never experienced this with a man but instantly decided he liked it.

So of course, that’s when Gabriel’s grace surged. Sam could _feel_ it trying to enter him.

Gabriel moved so fast Sam was never certain if he teleported or not. “Shit! Shit! Shit! I’m sorry, Sam. I never should have…”

Sam held up a hand to stop him. “Look, clearly there’s something going on here.” He felt himself blush. “I’ve never wanted something as bad as I wanted that, and I’m thinking you felt the same way.” He took a deep breath. “So why don’t we sit down and you fill me in on exactly what your grace is trying to do and what it means.”

Gabriel was panting now in a way he hadn’t after the fight. “Yeah.” He walked on obviously unsteady legs to the nearest bed and dropped heavily onto it.

Sam wanted to sit next to him, to be touching him, but obviously that was a terrible idea at the moment. So he sat on the other bed, compromising by leaning forward to be closer without actually touching.

Gabriel lay back for a moment. It was obvious he was trying to get something under control, and Sam gave him all the time he needed. He was wildly curious but sensed he’d get a better answer if the archangel had a moment to pull himself together.

Finally, Gabriel sat up, took a deep breath and said, “This might be easier if we started by you asking questions. Because this isn’t exactly a conversation I’d ever intended to have with you.”

Sam nodded. He could work with that. “Okay. You said last night that you’d been watching me a long time, since before we showed up on that campus.”

Gabriel looked relieved, as if that was a reasonably safe question. “Yeah, about that. Okay, I’ve been watching you pretty much since you were born.”

Sam blinked, not sure how to respond to that. “How did you even know when I was born?”

Gabriel tilted his head in the way angels did. Sam was suddenly struck by how bird-like the motion was. “Weren’t you paying attention when you had me trapped in that holy fire circle? We all knew pretty much from the beginning that you and Dean were coming along, and that all Hell was going to break loose when you did. I’d been waiting for your birth for millennia.”

Sam was already having a hard time processing this, and he sensed this was the _easy_ part of this conversation. “Okay. So, kind of creepy to think that you’ve been watching me all my life, although I guess Cas has been doing the same to Dean, so there’s that.” Which is when Sam’s brain caught up.

From the wary expression in Gabriel’s eyes, Sam thought he'd got it. “You’ve been--” He didn’t even know how to end that sentence.

So Gabriel did it for him. “Yeah. I’ve been wanting to bond you pretty much your entire life. As long as I had Loki’s power, I was able to resist it. Now, though?” He gave an elegant shrug.

Where to go from here? This was light years away from a girl crushing on a guy through most of grade school and then finally admitting it in high school. Not that it had happened to Sam, but he could see where that might happen.

Gabriel was looking at him as if afraid Sam was going to pick up his stuff and flee. Which was definitely not what he wanted to do. Okay, that kiss had been amazing. Waking up next to Gabriel had been equally amazing. They had meshed perfectly on the hunt. Really, what was the downside here?

Well, there was one he could think of. “So, let’s say I’m willing to do this bonding thing, and I want to know what that entails, of course, but what I want to know first is, what happens when I’m not around? I mean, I’m human. At best I’ve got maybe 40-50 years, and that assumes hunting doesn’t get me first. That’s nothing compared to you.”

Gabriel smiled. “Well, there are a few advantages to bonding an angel. You get to draw on my grace for improved health, strength and longevity.”

Now Sam was stunned. Dean had pretty much said he and Cas were going to bond. Did Dean know about the side effects? He felt his heart clench. Was it fair that Dean would outlive his brother, maybe by a long time?

“Sam?” came Gabriel’s gentle voice. “Tell me what you’re thinking, please. Don’t think I’m telling you that you have to do this. It’ll be fine if you don’t. Really.”

Sam heard the lie in his voice, and he’d know it for a lie, even if he hadn’t heard it. From the way Gabriel’s grace was acting, it was plain the archangel wanted this very badly. It was to his credit that he was willing to let it go if Sam couldn’t or wouldn’t accept it.

“So how much longevity are we talking?” It wasn’t the question he really wanted to ask, but it seemed safe enough while he tried to get his wits back.

Gabriel shrugged. “It depends on the angel. It’s not like this has happened often, but, at a guess, at least twice human normal. Maybe longer.” He paused and then added. “I’m an archangel. It might be considerably longer.”

Okay, that actually sounded pretty good. “So what else does this bond entail?”

Gabriel looked uncomfortable now. They must be getting closer to the questions he was reluctant to answer. “Basically, I’d always know rough direction and distance to you. I’d know your general well-being and emotional state. You’d get pretty much the same information about me. We’d be able to communicate over the bond.” He shook his head. “It’s hard to describe exactly. I’ve never experienced it myself, but I’ve talked with angels who did. They say it goes a long way toward easing the pain of being separated from Dad.”

That didn’t sound too intimidating.

Gabriel continued, “What you do need to know is that it’s permanent. Once the bond is formed, there’s no going back. You basically have to give me permission, the same as if you were letting me use you as a vessel.” The angel must have seen something in Sam’s eyes because he hastened to add, “Not that this is anything like that. You’d be yourself. I wouldn’t inhabit you, just sort of be a constant presence in the back of your mind.”

“What about privacy?” Sam asked. “I mean, I don’t know if I want you to hear everything I’m thinking. I’ve always thought telepathy was a pretty frightening super power if you really thought about it.”

Gabriel nodded. “I’d show you how to block me if you wanted. There’s a difference between having a constant awareness of each other and listening in on every thought.”

Sam could hear longing in Gabriel’s voice when he mentioned “constant awareness.” Did he want to ask the question he really wanted answered? Would Gabriel even answer it honestly? Sam felt like he did know the answer from what Gabriel had already said, but somehow he thought it important to hear the angel say it. Oh, what the heck. If they were going to bond, it might as well start on an honest footing.

Gabriel was watching him, anxiety lurking in his golden eyes.

“It must be like you’re completely alone in your head, right?” Sam asked. “I mean humans are always like that, but I’m guessing angels aren’t. Am I right?”

Relief chased embarrassment through Gabriel’s eyes, but he answered, his voice soft. “Yeah, pretty much. We aren’t designed to be completely alone the way humans are. We’re designed to always feel connected to something. Angel radio is one thing, but I’ve shut myself off from that, so yeah, I’ve been alone for a very long time, in a way that angels aren’t supposed to be.” Hope mixed with despair was evident in his voice. Clearly he wanted this very badly and had managed to convince himself it would never happen.

Which left Sam in an awkward position. Cut off from Heaven. Cut off from God. And powered down. No wonder Gabriel was down on himself. He wanted to help. He did, but still, a big decision on Sam’s part. A permanent link to a supernatural being wasn’t something to take on lightly.

Finally, Sam said, “Thank you for answering. I think I have an idea of what I would be getting in to. I can’t think it would surprise you that I need to think about it?”

Gabriel nodded, looking relieved that the answer wasn’t an automatic “No.” “Of course. I wouldn’t let you say ‘yes’ without thinking it through first.”

Sam nodded, grateful for the space to think. But a part of him couldn’t stop remembering that kiss…

Sam’s phone lit up with a text from Dean. “They’re close by. I guess he’d sent that first text after they’d been on the road a while.” He was glad for the distraction. Right now he didn’t want to spend time alone in a room with Gabriel. If he wasn’t careful, he’d end up saying yes just to get another kiss, and before he gave an answer, he wanted to have a chat with Cas.

Gabriel stood up. “Want me to check us out of the room? You can text our location to Dean.”

“Yeah, good idea.”

Yep, back to the Bunker. Ask some questions of Cas and then give Gabriel an answer.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sam talks to Cas and learns a bit more about bonding and what it means.

The ride back to the Bunker was oddly quiet. Dean had music playing, but no one was talking. Cas and Gabriel sat in the back, and Sam wondered if they were talking over angel radio. When he’d glance in the rear view mirror, he’d see an odd look cross one of their faces, as if one of them had said something the other hadn’t liked.

Dean just drove, eyes on the road. Sam was okay with it. They’d spent many a mile with just the road noise and classic rock for company.

However, he was glad when they finally arrived home. He couldn’t stop thinking about his conversation with Gabriel and the decision he was going to have to make soon. He needed to run some things by Cas.

As soon as they all got out of the car, Sam asked, “Cas, you got a minute?”

Dean gave them both a curious look but walked towards the Bunker. Gabriel hurried after him, not even looking at Sam on the way by.

“Certainly, Sam,” was all Cas said in response.

“Thanks. Meet me in my room in five minutes or so?”

“All right.”

Sam dropped his stuff in his room, visited the bathroom and was back in his room at the same time Cas was approaching his door. Sam ushered the angel into his room and closed the door.

Cas gave him a raised eyebrow.

“Don’t want Dean to interrupt. This is kind of private.”

Cas nodded. “I assume this is about my brother.”

“Yeah.” Sam tilted his head in question. “Were you guys talking in the car?”

“Of course. This is one of the few areas where I have more experience than he does.”

“So you and Dean have bonded?”

A small smile played around Cas’ mouth. “Yes. I wasn’t certain it would ever happen, but Dean finally agreed.” From his tone, it was one of the best things that had ever happened to him. “Ask your questions.”

Sam paused. “Well, I don’t know if it’s so much that I have questions. More like I need someone to talk this through with. And Dean isn’t the right person for this.”

Cas settled himself in the chair by Sam’s bed. “All right. What do you need?”

“I guess the first one isn’t even the most important, but I kind of feel like I need to say it out loud. I’ve never been attracted to guys before. I knew about Dean’s preferences, of course, but I’ve never looked at a guy before this. However, there’s no question I’m attracted to Gabriel.”

Cas gave him a wry smile. “I hope you don’t mind, but my brother did mention the kiss and how much he thought you enjoyed it.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Great. Good to know I’m considering dating someone who is willing to kiss and tell.”

Cas held up a hand. “That may be part of the problem. If you agree to this, it’s not what you humans think of as dating. It’s much more than that.”

Sam stretched back on his bed, elbows holding him up. “I get that. Gabe’s explained that much. I guess I’m just not sure how to relate this to anything I’ve experienced before.”

“That’s because it’s not anything you’ve ever experienced.” Cas seemed to think for a minute. “May I say a few things that may help?”

“Sure.”

"There are two things you have to understand about Gabriel, Sam, before you get much farther in a relationship with him," Cas said.

"Okay. I'm listening."

"The first concerns your worry about being attracted to a male. You should know that angels don't have gender. I'm currently in a male vessel, but, as you know, I've been in female vessels in the past."

Sam gave the angel a wry grin. "Uh, Cas. Just one problem with that. According to Gabriel, this vessel is the only one he's ever worn. And it's pretty definitely male."

Cas' mouth turned down, and he lowered his eyes. "Now that you mention it, I believe you are correct."

Laughing, Sam said, "Thanks, Cas. Cleared that right up. So what was your second point?"

Cas raised his gaze. "All right. I may not have said the last one correctly, but you do need to hear this one."

Sam recognized the gravity in the angel's tone, and he sobered.

"You've spent time with me. I was an angel and am now a seraph. Well, mostly a seraph." He shook his head as if admonishing himself and continued. "My brother is an archangel. I know you spent years with Lucifer and Michael in the Cage, but I don't think you know what an archangel is from that experience."

Sam nodded. "I think I get that. I'm pretty sure Lucifer went insane in there, and I'm not sure Michael was much better. Gabriel is damaged but seems mostly sane."

"Lucifer was definitely driven insane. I was possessed by him for many months, and I can confirm that."

Sam was uncomfortable discussing Lucifer and attempted to bring the conversation back to Gabriel. "Okay, so I think you're telling me that Gabriel is the only relatively normal archangel I've encountered."

"Correct." Cas stared into the distance for a moment, obviously trying to organize his thoughts and words. "Don't think you know how he will behave, based on your experience with me. Archangels are as far above me as you are above ants."

Because that was a comforting thought.

"If Gabriel is bonded to you, he will be gentle with you. However, don't be fooled. Archangels are like apex predators. He can be provoked, and I don't recommend that even you attempt that. I will have some quiet words with Dean also, assuming Gabriel stays with us long-term. However, he's also programmed to respect status, and while you don't have even a fraction of his power, you must convince him that you are his equal."

Sam considered for a moment. Finally, he said, "So, it sounds like you're telling me that I'd basically be in bed with a tiger--” He thought about it for a moment and amended his statement. “Not a tiger, a bird of prey, currently wounded, which makes him a bit more docile, but, as he recovers, I need to be careful with him."

"Essentially yes. However, like any predator which mates for life, he will treat you differently. You will see a gentle, loving side of him few will encounter."

Sam frowned. “Yeah that was one of the other things he mentioned. I mean, he said I’d get a longer life being bonded with him, but even so, it’d be like a blink of the eye to him.”

Cas gave him a sad smile. "Yes. And don't think for a moment that he doesn’t know exactly what he’s doing. I knew that when I bonded Dean."

At that moment, Cas seemed as ancient as Gabriel had in the restaurant. Sam was humbled such beings were willing to associate with mere humans.

Cas seemed to follow his thoughts. “Remember, our Father commanded us to love you. This is part of His will also.”

"So what happens to him when I die?" Sam asked.

"He will mourn you and continue on alone. As I will do when Dean finally dies.” The angel sounded completely matter of fact about this.

Sam felt staggered by this. It wasn’t anything he hadn’t already thought of, but still.

"I'm sorry, Sam, but you needed to know."

"Yeah, I did. Thank you for telling me.”

"You're welcome, Sam. If you do this, and, for what it’s worth, I think you should, you are going to make my brother very happy. I've wanted that for centuries." The angel developed a twinkle that was almost the equal of Gabriel's. "Here's the part he doesn't know. I've known the form of his vessel for millennia, and I've watched him. Even though his pagan nature buffered him, he’s been achingly lonely."

Sam grinned. "You mean you tricked the Trickster?"

Cas gave a humble shrug. "I was never a threat to him, so I was able to observe him without triggering any of his warnings. Or, he knew perfectly well that I was watching him, and he allowed it. I may ask him some day."

Sam laughed. "Don't bother. I doubt he'll give you the real answer."

"Good point. Do you have any more questions?”

Sam shook his head. “No. I think I’d already made up my mind, and I just needed a bit more information to be certain.”

A smile lit up Cas’ face. “Then you are going to say yes?”

Sam nodded. “I want to sleep on it to be sure, but yeah, I’m planning on it.”

“I’m glad.”

Sam made a shooing motion with his hand. “Now you get on. I know you and Dean just bonded, and I’m thinking you’d rather spend time with him than with me.”

Cas’ expression sobered. “Yes, I want to spend time with Dean, but never think that I lack time for you. Sam, you have become like a brother to me.”

Sam got up and hugged the angel. “Thanks. I like having an extra brother.”

Cas left, and Sam got ready for bed. Tomorrow was likely to be a big day, and he wanted to be well-rested for it.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we learn that not even experienced hunters are always prepared.

Sam woke to an empty bed. That shouldn’t have been a surprise to him. He awoke almost every morning to an empty bed. Today, however, he couldn’t help but remember waking up the previous morning with an archangel glued to his back.

That finalized his decision. He genuinely liked touching Gabriel, and that wasn’t going to be possible without completing the bonding. Cas and Dean seemed content with it. Gabriel clearly wanted and needed it, and Sam found himself wanting to give this to the angel.

He cautiously poked at his memory of the Trickster and Dean’s many deaths on a Tuesday. Yes, the memory was still there. Yes, remembering his brother die again and again still hurt, but the overpowering rage he had felt for Gabriel was gone. In its place was acceptance, and, he guessed, forgiveness.

Sam nodded. Yes, bonding with Gabriel was both what he wanted and the right thing to do. He still wondered what it would feel like, be like, but he knew he’d find out soon.

He dressed and tucked his gun in his waistband. Even though he had no plans to leave the Bunker, he still felt naked without it. Dean tended to do the same thing. Years of being on the road and hunting things left their mark.

Sam left his room and headed for the kitchen, figuring everyone would be there. As he entered, he saw Dean finishing up his breakfast. His brother was attempting to convince Cas to try a home fry.

“Dean, I have told you many times that I can not taste food.”

Dean shook his head. “Yeah, that’s not the case according to your brother. He says he can taste food just fine and that you should be able to as well.”

Cas sighed and picked up the piece of potato, regarding it as if it were something he would rather smite than eat. Sam realized that Gabriel wasn’t present, but he was curious about Cas’ reaction to food and decided not to interrupt to ask after the archangel.

Caa put the piece of potato in his mouth, rolled it around, chewed thoughtfully and then swallowed.

“Well?” Dean asked.

“It’s...not bad. I can still discern the individual molecules, but I believe I can also detect the taste of the whole.”

A smile spread across Dean’s face, and he clapped Cas on the shoulder. “See, Gabe knew what he was talking about. You just need to keep trying.”

“If you say so, Dean.” Cas sounded as if he were being asked to do laundry or some other chore.

Sam cleared his throat. Both his brother and angel looked up to see him in the doorway. “Glad you can taste food, Cas. Any idea where your brother is?”

Cas’ eyes grew distant in concentration for a moment before he nodded and said, “He is on the road to town, about a mile distant.”

Sam frowned. Gabriel wasn’t leaving, was he? “Is he coming or going?”

Another moment of concentration. “He is coming closer.”

Smiling in relief, Sam said, “I’ll go meet him then.”

“Have you made a decision, Sam?” Cas asked.

“Yeah, I have.” He was still smiling and knew Cas would figure out his answer from that. “I’ll tell him when I see him.”

Cas gave him a half smile in return. “That is good. I’m sure my brother will be happy to hear your answer.”

Dean was glancing back and forth between them. Then he nodded and grinned at his brother. “Way to go, Sammy.”

Sam turned to leave, but of course, Dean had to have the last word. “But I don’t want to hear anything weird coming from your room, Sam!”

Sam cheerfully flipped off his brother as he left the kitchen.

If Gabriel was about a mile out, Sam would probably meet him halfway, which wouldn’t take long. He found himself excited to see the archangel, and he hurried his steps. Sure enough, he’d been walking less than ten minutes when he saw Gabriel up ahead. Waving, he broke into a half-run. Okay, it was probably cheesy, but he felt like something was pulling him forward.

As he got closer, he saw a smile start to grow on Gabriel’s face, but, as he watched, the smile morphed into a look of horror. “Sam!” Gabriel yelled.

Sam didn’t stop to think. His body moved in familiar patterns as he drew his gun, angled off the road for the dubious shelter of a nearby tree and scanned his surroundings for threats. He noted Gabriel had a blade in his hand, and the archangel was running, expression grim.

The tall hunter finally saw what had spooked the angel. Four creatures were charging across the field by the side of the road. Sam’s mind calmly notified him that they were facing two werewolves and two vampires. Apparently the monsters they had killed had friends.

This wasn’t good. His only weapon was his gun, and it had normal bullets. Gabriel had his blade, but with his grace so low, Sam wasn’t sure he’d be able to smite, and angel blades couldn’t kill vampires or werewolves without grace to back up the attack.

Running was no use, so Sam knelt down to steady his aim and fired five bullets in quick succession. Four hit their targets, with only one going wide. One werewolf landed on his face, his knee exploded. The two vampires paused to pull bullets out of their respective shoulders. The second werewolf tumbled to the ground, briefly incapacitated by a gut shot.

While the monsters wouldn’t stay down long, Sam’s attack bought enough time for Gabriel to join the fight. Even weakened by low grace, these monsters couldn’t cause him permanent harm, and the archangel charged recklessly into their midst. He stabbed one of the vampires, and Sam saw a tiny trickle of grace, enough to cause the bloodsucker to wince but not enough to harm him.

Sam noticed a good-sized tree branch nearby, and he nodded to himself in satisfaction. It wouldn’t hurt the monsters, but it would give him something to parry with, and he might get lucky enough to knock out one of the werewolves. They were slightly more vulnerable than the vampires.

The werewolf who had been hit in the gut recovered enough to manage a hobbling charge toward Sam, who fired two more bullets into him. He got lucky. One was a head shot. That would take the monster out of the fight for the moment.

Unfortunately, one of the vampires must have decided a human was an easier target than an archangel, and he started running in Sam’s direction. The other werewolf was shaking off his injury and was about to rejoin the fight. Gabriel was holding his own against the second vampire, but it was a delaying game, and the hunter knew it.

He still had plenty of ammunition, and he used it all. He fired two more shots into the downed werewolf, three into the recovering werewolf and the rest into the vampire. Then he dropped his gun and brandished the branch.

The vampire shook off the bullets and started forward, confidence in his stride. “You’ve been watching too much _Buffy_ if you expect that to work.”

Sam didn’t rise to the bait, holding his ground, ready for the approaching vampire.

Just then, Gabriel stabbed his vampire, and there was a brief flash of grace followed by a loud scream. The vampire dropped. One monster out of the fight. Sam just hoped that hadn’t been all the juice the archangel had left.

Sam’s vampire whirled toward the scream at the same time Gabriel yelled, “Be ready, Sam.” The archangel concentrated for a moment and snapped his fingers.

Nothing happened.

“Fuck!” Gabriel yelled.

The vampire smiled and turned back for Sam.

Both werewolves were stirring now. Sam wasn’t sure how they were going to get out of this. He watched the vampire approach, ready to defend himself, hopefully to buy some time for Gabriel to do something.

Just on the edge of his vision, he saw Gabriel snap his fingers again. Suddenly, Sam was holding a machete instead of a tree branch. Sam smiled. Now the odds were more in his favor.

Apparently, the vampire hadn’t noticed the change in weapon because he charged the remaining  distance. Sam set his feet, prepared, and, the instant the vampire was close enough, he slashed right through its neck.

The vampire’s head rolled several feet, eyes open wide in stunned disbelief.

Sam didn’t have time to appreciate his victory because both werewolves were now charging him. He heard Gabriel’s yell and presumed the archangel was on his way to help, but the monsters got to him first. Sam was able to cut the arm off of one, but the other ducked under Sam’s machete and took him down, claws ripping deep into the hunter’s belly.

Sam tried to get the machete up and in position to defend himself, but his arms felt so weak that he could barely lift the blade. The werewolf clearly didn’t consider him a threat anymore, and he rose to meet the charge of a furious archangel.

Sam could feel blood flowing down his pants, and he could barely keep his eyes open against the weakness and pain. He was just conscious enough to see Gabriel slide to a halt, standing over Sam’s fallen body. As his vision grayed out, he thought he saw wings arching protectively over him.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we finally earn our Explicit rating and wrap everything up.

He didn’t know how long he was out, but as he came to, the pain almost knocked him back into unconsciousness.

He heard Gabriel’s voice, as if from a great distance. “No, Sammy! Stay with me.” The fear and pain in the archangel’s voice was enough to rouse him, at least for a moment.

“Gabe?” He wasn’t even sure what he was asking, but the name was all he could manage.

“I can’t heal you, Sam. I’m too weak.”

“‘S’okay,” Sam slurred. “Take care of Dean.”

He started to drift off, but Gabriel shook him back to semi-alertness. “There is something, Sam. If you consent to the bond…”

Even as the world greyed around him, Sam could hear the anguish mixed with hope in the angel’s voice. It was so hard to think, though. Hadn’t he already agreed to it? No, the monsters had attacked before he’d had a chance to.

The world started to slip away again.

“Sam!”

Sam fought to clear his head enough to speak. It took two tries, but he finally managed to get out a scratchy, barely audible, “Yes.”

He closed his eyes, unable to stop himself from embracing the approaching blackness. Before he lost himself in darkness, he felt warm lips touch his.

Well, wasn’t that a nice way to go?

***

Sam had never expected to wake up again, but consciousness returned slowly. He was on a bed. His bed? He was surrounded by warmth. A blanket? His head was pillowed on something warm and too firm to be a pillow. What was that?

As memory returned, he expected to feel the searing pain of his wound, but no. No pain.

Fingers moved in his hair. It felt nice.

Emotions moved through him, and somehow he knew they weren’t his. _Affection. Hope. Worry. Contentment._ And underneath it all, _disbelief and doubt._

“Gabe?” Sam managed to say, his voice harsh and rough.

The fingers didn’t stop their gentle motion. “Right here, Sam.”

Along with the voice came a surge of relief, still mixed with doubt. What was up with that?

“What happened?” he managed to ask.

“How much do you remember?”

Sam struggled with memories which flitted through his mind, almost too quickly to grab. “Umm. You somehow got me a machete. Then the werewolves charged. One took me down.” He didn’t think he would forget that pain anytime soon. “Then you were there. I think I saw your wings.”

“That’s good, Sam. Do you remember what happened after that?”

A part of Sam wanted to drift back to sleep, buoyed on the surges of emotion that carried him like gentle waves in the ocean. Gabriel’s voice, however gentle, commanded him to remain awake, and he couldn’t resist. “Yeah, I think so. You said you couldn’t heal me.”

Then it all came rushing back, and he sat up. As soon as he wasn’t in contact with Gabriel, he felt oddly cold. He turned to look at the angel, who was sitting with his back against the headboard of Sam’s bed. “You asked me to consent to the bond.”

_Fear. Shame. Apology._

Now Sam understood he had been feeling Gabriel’s emotions. “No, Gabe. Don’t feel that. It’s fine.” He smiled and reached for the angel’s hands, cupping them in his own huge palms. “I was going to say yes. I’d already decided.”

_Cautious hope._

“You’re sure you’re okay with it?” Gabriel asked, his tone disbelieving. “You were out of your mind with pain. I wasn’t sure you were actually giving consent, but--” He broke off and closed his eyes for a moment before he was able to go on again. “I couldn’t let you die. I couldn’t. I’ve waited too long for this.”

Sam squeezed the hands engulfed in his. “It’s fine. I’m glad you didn’t.” His brow furrowed in confusion. “But how? You said you couldn’t heal me.”

Gabriel gave a tiny shrug. “I couldn’t. But the bond gave you enough strength to hang on for a while. As soon as I saw the monsters, I called out to Cas. I hoped the bond would keep you alive until he got there. It was close, but you were just hanging on when Cas and Dean pulled up. Cas said another five minutes and it would have been all over.”

Sam let go with one hand and felt his stomach, realizing for the first time that he was naked from the waist up, wearing just sweat pants. He shook for a moment, realizing how close he’d come to dying again.

Warm arms encircled him and held him close. The insistent press of both Gabriel’s emotions and something Sam suddenly realized was grace were impossible to ignore, and for a moment, he just sat there, feeling.

Eventually, he asked, “Are Dean and Cas around?” He didn’t actually want to see them right now, but he needed to know that his family was present.

“Yes.” A pause. “They are in the kitchen. I let Cas know that you are awake. Do you want to see them?”

“No. I just wanted to know they’re here.”

“Your family is safe,” Gabriel said, both his voice and the surge of emotion soothing.

Sam focused on those emotions for a moment. It was hard to concentrate on anything else. “Will it always be like this?”

Gabriel seemed to know what he was asking, and he said, “No. I’ll show you how to close it down to just a background awareness, but, right now, I wanted to feel everything.”

Along with the words came an overwhelming sense of contentment, although Sam also noticed some darker emotions underneath. “Wait,” he said. “You can feel everything I’m feeling too, can’t you?”

Gabriel’s gentle laughter was a rumbling against him. “Of course. That’s part of it.”

Sam felt sudden uncertainty, and Gabriel added, “That’s okay, isn’t it?”

The hunter didn’t answer for a moment, trying to sort through what he was feeling from the angel. He explored along the bond, half-expecting Gabriel to close down or redirect him, but Sam was allowed to look at anything he wanted. He was humbled by the level of trust that showed.

“We are bonded. That’s what it means.”

Sam had the sense that Gabriel could speak directly to his mind but wasn’t.

“I thought this would be easier while it’s all so new.”

As Sam explored, he found two--doors were the best way his mind could comprehend them. As he “approached” them, they became more solidly door-like, small, thick and dark with several layers of locks and bars. A dark mist drifted over them.

“May I?” Sam asked.

He felt hesitation from the archangel, followed by acceptance. He opened the first door.

Yawning emptiness. Sam wanted to close it immediately, but he forced himself to stay a moment and look. He sensed lack of purpose and connections. The emptiness wasn’t exactly loneliness, although that was a part of it. Mingled in the loneliness was a feeling of broken bonds and being adrift.

“That’s what you felt like when God left, isn’t it?”

Gabriel nodded against his back. “Not just when he left. That’s pretty much what I’ve been feeling ever since he left.”

Sam couldn’t stop the gasp. “How did you survive that?”

“As I said, taking Loki’s power buffered me, dampened it down to something I could bear. Why do you think I pursued pleasure? Loki was right about that. I took hedonism to a new high, trying to find something to replace that emptiness.” His tone was matter-of-fact, almost bored, but now that Sam could feel the emotion behind the words, he knew the tone was a lie. Even this new bond couldn’t undo centuries of experiencing that utterable emptiness.

He hated to ask, but he needed to know. “And once Loki withdrew his power?”

“Isn’t it obvious? There was nothing between me and that.” Sam felt Gabriel thinking before he added. “I don’t know if it’s a blessing or a curse that Asmodeus wouldn’t let me die. He knew about the emptiness, and he tried to use it against me. As if I would ever have accepted a bond with that Kentucky fried b-hole.”

Sam closed the door and hesitated before opening the other one. He had a pretty good idea what was behind it, and he wasn’t surprised to open a portal into Hell. Pain, debasement, endless torture. This was where Gabriel had locked away his years with Asmodeus. Everything here felt familiar to Sam, having experienced its like during his time in the Cage.

There was no need to linger here. He closed the door, turned and wrapped his arms around Gabriel and held him close. The angel lay limp in his arms.

“Hey, it’ll be okay,” Sam whispered into Gabriel’s honey wheat hair, which smelled of sweet and sunshine.

Gabriel pulled free of the embrace. “Will it?”

Had it been naive of Sam to think that the bond would make things all better for the angel? Was there anything he could do to help, at least for the moment? Then he knew what he had to do. He closed his eyes and went deep in himself. He had his own memories locked away, and he hated to go near them, but he thought...hoped...it would help.

He could feel Gabriel’s curiosity at the edge of his awareness, but he ignored it for the moment. There. The place where he had, with mixed success, locked away his own memories. He visualized a door and opened his eyes to look at Gabriel. “You saw?”

The angel nodded, fear and a curious longing in his golden eyes.

“Go ahead.”

“Sam? Are you sure? I think I know what’s behind that door. Do you really want me to--”

“Go ahead,” Sam said, cutting him off.

Gabriel looked as if he was going to protest again, but then he sighed, and Sam felt him reach out and open the door.

Memory rushed through him, years of pain, humiliation, loneliness and more. He hadn’t wanted to poke at the memories again, but if they helped Gabriel, well, it would be worth it. And maybe sharing them with someone who could understand would help him as well.

The angel didn’t look long, closing the door after a few seconds. “Why?” he asked.

“Because someone, I can’t remember who, once said that pain shared is pain halved. Why did you let me see yours?”

Gabriel’s brow furrowed in what looked like genuine confusion. The flow of emotion confirmed it. “I thought you should know what you had chosen. If I could have, I would have shown you earlier, so you could back out if you didn’t want to bond with someone as broken as me.”

Sam couldn’t believe what he was hearing, but as close as they were in this moment, he knew Gabriel was incapable of lying to him. He reached out and drew the angel in close, holding him tight, not wanting to let him go until he realized his worth. He wasn’t sure how to project his own emotions, but he thought _reassurance_ as hard as he could. Gabriel gave one hitching sob before going slack in his arms.

Sam suddenly realized he was a lot closer to recovering from his experiences in the Cage than he had thought, especially in comparison to Gabriel. He nudged the angel into looking at him. “Hey, I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but it does get better.”

Gabriel didn’t look convinced.

“Come on. You’ve been rummaging around in my memories and emotions--” He saw shame start to cross Gabriel’s face, and he hastily added, “--which is totally fine, by the way. You’ve got permission, at least for now. I’ll hold you to that promise of some privacy later, okay?”

Gabriel nodded, shame shifting to confusion.

“Look, I’m not saying this well, but it’s been years for me now. I’m not over it. I’m not sure I’ll ever be over it, but the Cage doesn’t rule my life anymore. I can go for days, even weeks sometimes, and not think about it. So, when I say it gets better, I know what I’m talking about.” He tried sending another emotion. _Support_. “Also, you’re not alone. I didn’t really have anyone to talk to about this. I’m not a therapist or anything, but I can listen. I might even occasionally know what to say.”

Gabriel took a deep breath, and Sam felt the flow of emotion stabilize. Maybe he was helping, at least a bit?

“Yeah. Sam. You’re helping. I went so long with no hope of getting away from Asmodeus. Then I did get away, killed his ass and thought that was the answer. When it didn’t work, I was sure killing Loki and his family would give me the peace I was looking for.” He sighed. “I hate it when your brother’s right, but he was. Revenge wasn’t what I needed.”

Sam smiled at him. “Then let’s try something different.”

Gabriel tilted his head. “Try what?”

Sam leaned forward. “How about love?” He leaned forward again, inviting a kiss without pushing for it if Gabriel wasn’t ready.

He felt a moment of surprise through the bond before warm lips met his.

Unlike the last time they kissed, this was unhurried, just the press and slide of lips and mouths. There wasn’t even any intent to arouse. As they kissed, Sam felt Gabriel’s emotions settle and slow. Anxiety slowly faded into contentment which merged into comfortable desire.

Sam opened his mouth, offering to deepen the kiss, and Gabriel’s tongue accepted, sliding inside to explore every nook and cranny. Now Sam’s body started to respond, and he gently took Gabriel’s hand, encouraging him to explore his naked chest. Fingers glided down his torso, stopping to tweak one nipple before moving to cup and stroke Sam’s hipbones. He gasped into Gabriel’s mouth, not knowing until then that they were sensitive.

He felt an internal chuckle, and Gabriel repeated the motion, with predictable results. Sam started to harden in his sweats. He shifted their position, maneuvering so Gabriel was on top of him. Even his growing arousal didn’t completely eliminate his ability to think, and he suspected making the archangel feel trapped would have less than desirable results.

Gabriel hummed his acceptance of the repositioning and ground into him. Sam arched into it, liking the sensation of an erection pressing against him. Cas had been trying to tell him that gender didn’t matter, and he got it now. This was Gabriel. Whatever body he wore wasn’t important.

However, things could be even better. Could the angel hear his thoughts? _You’re wearing too many clothes._

Now he felt hesitation.

Damn. It had been a while after coming back from the Cage and getting his soul back until he had been comfortable being undressed with a lover.

_Never mind. Whatever you’re comfortable with._

That seemed to be what Gabriel needed to hear because he drew back just long enough to remove his leather jacket. After a moment, he also slipped out of his jeans. Sam had to stifle a laugh.

Gabriel frowned at him. “What? It was a perfectly good use of grace.”

Sam just shook his head. “I guess I never thought you for the red silk type.”

“Lots you don’t know about me, Sam.”

Sam arched his hips to remove his sweats, Gabriel’s eyes hungrily following every move. After a moment of hesitation, he also pulled off his boxers. He wanted to feel that silk against himself. He reached for the angel and drew him back down. “I think I'll enjoy learning.” He kissed Gabriel again, grinding himself into the silk boxers, which felt every bit as good as he’d thought they would.

Gabriel kissed back, gently cupping Sam’s cheeks in his hands. Sam hummed and leaned into warm fingers caressing his ear lobes. He’d always loved having his ears played with, and he focused on sending his enjoyment back through the bond. He ran his own fingernails lightly down Gabriel’s back. The angel arched into the light, teasing pressure.

It was kind of awkward, but he broke the kiss to say, “You know I’ve never done this before.”

Gabriel gave him an amused look. “I know you’re not a virgin, Sam.”

Sam felt his cheeks redden, and the angel ran his fingers along them, a trickle of grace cooling them. “That’s not what I meant. I meant I’ve never been with a guy before.”

“Not a problem. I’ve got enough experience for the two of us.” Mild apprehension along the link put the lie to his casual words.

“Then you show me what you’re willing to do.”

_Surprise_

“I know what it’s like to get back into sex after what you’ve been through. You let me know if I’m getting too close to something I shouldn’t touch. And we’ll do whatever you feel you can do.”

_Hesitant gratitude_

Sam frowned. “You can’t honestly think I would have pushed.” He waved a hand between them. “With what we have between us? I wouldn’t hurt you, but with this, I’m pretty sure I can’t.”

“Actually, you could. It doesn’t prevent mistakes and misunderstandings.”

Sam thought about it for a minute. He could see that. “Well, at least I’ll know if I have hurt you, and I can fix it.”

His erection had flagged, and he could feel that Gabriel’s was completely gone. “Hey, I didn’t mean for this to kill the mood. I just wanted to let you know I was okay with as much or as little as you wanted.”

He could feel Gabriel thinking. Finally, he said, “Okay, you’re right. I’ve got limits, but--” He broke off.

“What?” Gabriel had firm control of the bond. Right then, Sam was feeling almost nothing from him.

“I feel like I shouldn’t even be asking this.”

Sam shrugged. “Ask. I’ll tell you if it’s something I can or can’t do.”

Now anxiety flowed between them. “The thought of going down on you just triggers too much. So does you fucking me, which is how I’d usually handle this situation.”

A smile spread across Sam’s face. “You want to fuck me? Or have me go down on you?”

Gabriel nodded, both his expression and the bond making it plain he expected the requests to be refused.

Sam didn’t let his smile slip. “Okay. I guess they do kind of go in a logical order.” He thought for a moment before adding. “Well, the other order at least.”

Gabriel blinked. “You mean you’re okay with it?”

“Sure. I said so, didn’t I? I think I can figure my way through a blow job. As for fucking, well, I trust you not to do anything that would really hurt me. I mean, I get there will probably be some pain, but other guys do it all the time. How bad can it be?”

The angel laughed. “You really are something else, Sam. Okay, yes, I will make sure you don’t ever doubt that trust you seem to have in me. You probably should doubt it, but I know Winchester stubbornness when I hear it.”

Sam wriggled a bit under Gabriel, his cock now indicting it was very much with the program, thank you very much and could the talking stop now, please? Well, Gabriel had made his preferences known, which meant it was up to him to take the next step, wasn’t it? He reached up and pulled the angel’s head down for a kiss. Gabriel responded enthusiastically, and the growing hardness against Sam’s thigh indicated his renewed interest.

After a few minutes of kissing, Gabriel was making desperate little growls, and Sam got the hint. He broke the kiss, rolled them over with Gabriel on his back and slithered down the angel’s body, biting and licking as he went. He did pretty much what he would have done with a girl, and from Gabriel’s reactions, it seemed as if he was doing okay.

Finally, he arrived at Gabriel’s cock, which was completely hard and leaking pre-come. Hesitating, he considered how he wanted to approach this.

“You don’t have to,” Gabriel said, his voice strained and breathy, which totally contradicted his words.

Sam smiled. “Nope. I got this.” He hoped it was true. He tried to remember what Amelia had done to him, leaned down and took Gabriel in his mouth. A salty, musky taste exploded on his tongue. It wasn’t bad, just different. He took an experimental swipe and was rewarded with a groan from the angel.

He remembered that Amelia tended to use too little pressure, so he hollowed his cheeks and sucked as hard as he could.

"Fuck! Sam!" The angel's hips came off the bed, and Sam nearly choked. However, he adjusted his angle and tried again, varying the pressure he was using. Almost everything he did got a good reaction. He enjoyed the half-coherent sounds Gabriel was making, including some he was pretty sure were in Enochian. He wasn't sure that language was intended for sex, but Gabriel made it sound completely erotic.

He was thoroughly enjoying himself when Gabriel choked out, "Better stop, Sam, or this is going to be over too soon."

Sam pulled off, with one last teasing lick at the head of his cock.

"You are learning entirely too fast," Gabriel said.

Sam moved up and hugged his angel. "Okay. I'm not completely ignorant. I think I kind of know what comes next." He was willing but nervous and hoping Gabriel wasn't picking up on that too much.

Gabriel shifted position to sit up. "We don't have to, you know."

So much for him not picking up on his nerves.

"What you were doing will totally work for me, and I give a mean hand job. You'll be well satisfied."

Sam shook his head. It sounded like a cop out. Besides, now he was curious. "Nope. I want to."

Pleasure bloomed over Gabriel's face. "Okay. You have any lube in here?"

Sam felt himself blush. “Um. I don’t think so.” He hadn’t really been interested even in jacking off for a while now. But maybe he had some old stuff. He opened his bedside drawer and started laughing.

Gabriel’s head popped over his shoulder to look. He laughed when he saw what Sam was taking out of the drawer. A brand-new bottle of lube, with a Post-It note stuck on it.

_Here ya go, baby bro. Now keep it down!_

Sam rolled his eyes. “Gotta love my brother.”

Gabriel shook his head. “Eew. No thanks.” But he took the bottle from Sam. "Lie down on your stomach."

Sam did so, and Gabriel positioned a pillow beneath his hips, raising his ass just a little in the air. He felt oddly exposed, but the waves of contented desire flowing through him helped him to relax.

He heard the lube top go _pop_ and Gabriel said, "Try to relax. This may feel a bit odd at first, but it shouldn't hurt. I'll know if it does, and I'll slow things down."

Sam nodded, and he felt fingers slowly circling him. A moment later, Gabriel inserted one finger, slowly.

"Okay, Sam?"

He considered for a moment. It didn't hurt, but it did feel odd.

"Sam?" Gabriel's voice was full of love and concern.

"It's fine. Just different."

"Different we can work with." He inserted the finger a little deeper, and Sam felt his erection subside as he focused on the strange sensations.

"Don't worry about that. We'll get little Sam back in the action soon."

Gabriel inserted a second finger, which felt even weirder.

"Still with me?"

"Yeah." Sam tried to sound certain, but he was pretty sure he failed.

Gabriel leaned on Sam's back, fingers still inside and licked and kissed a wet trail down his back. The pressure of the angel against his back pushed Sam's hips into the bed, and that jump-started his cock, which twitched and started to swell.

"That's my boy," Gabriel whispered. "You're doing really well." He did something with one finger, and Sam gasped and jumped. That had felt amazing.

"There we go." Almost before he'd finished speaking, he inserted a third finger.

Now Sam felt a burn along with pressure, but Gabriel's finger was massaging a spot inside him that he knew would feel really good if he kept going.

"Don't stop!" He barely registering that he was begging.

The archangel continued to kiss along his spine, and Sam rocked into the bed. He felt a hardness along his thigh and knew Gabriel was enjoying this as well.

"Oh, definitely, Sam. You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this to you." The words breathed into his ear increased his desire.

Suddenly he wanted the angel inside him. Fingers were one thing, but he wanted more.

"All right, Sam. I got you." He pulled his fingers out and sat up. Sam nearly whimpered out loud at the loss of contact.

"In a minute. Got to lube myself up."

Sam waited, thrusting his hips into the pillow. It felt good, but it wasn't what he wanted.

A moment later, Gabriel positioned himself between Sam's legs, which apparently he'd spread without even realizing he'd done it. Something hard pressed against him.

"Relax, Sam." Warm hands massaged his shoulders, and he felt something moving against his skin. He realized it was grace at the same time Gabriel entered him, just a tiny bit at first. That felt a lot stranger than fingers, but he consciously relaxed, trusting that it would feel better soon.

"Oh it will. You're doing great."

Another inch. Now Sam felt a burn, but it was both painful and really good at the same time. He couldn't help himself and pushed back.

"Whoa. Easy tiger. Not so fast." Gabriel ran a soothing hand over his back, grace trailing the gentle fingers. Another inch.

"Turn just a tiny bit," Gabriel said, and Sam complied. The hand moved from his back to grip his cock. Sam couldn't help the gasp of pleasure that escaped him. This was definitely starting to feel good.

Another inch and another. Now Gabriel's cock pressed against the place where his fingers had been earlier. That felt really good, and he moaned, loudly.

"That's my boy. Don't hold back."

A tiny bit of sense intruded. "Dean'll kill us."

Gabriel laughed, and Sam could feel the rumble through his entire body, including inside him. "He can't kill me, and he'd never kill you."

Gabriel started to move now, and Sam couldn't help himself. "Fuck, yeah. That's good." He suspected he'd said that loudly enough to be heard in the hallway. So much for paying attention to the note.

Gabriel moved inside him, jacking Sam's cock in the same rhythm. Sam lost himself in it.

"So beautiful," Gabriel said.

Sam heard his words and felt his love and desire wash through him, meshing with his own emotions. Gabriel moved faster, and Sam knew he was close.

"Gabe…"

"It's okay, Sam. Come for me."

Right as he came, he realized that yes, he loved Gabriel. It wasn't just attraction. It was more than that.

"I love you," he yelled along with his climax.

At the same moment, Gabriel went very still, and he felt a surge of warmth inside him.

They lay still for several minutes, Sam wrapped by both Gabriel's body and his emotions. He missed it when the angel finally pulled out, and Sam knew he wanted to do that again. Preferably soon.

Finally, Gabriel said, "You know I love you too?"

Sam smiled, letting the other's emotions wash over him. "Yeah, I was kind of getting that from you." He felt too lazy and comfortable to move, even though he was lying in a wet spot.

"Thank you," Gabriel said.

"For what?"

"Going along with what I could do. Not freaking out at bottoming."

Sam stretched, feeling a slight soreness. He kind of liked it. It made it all real somehow. "Not a problem. Not like I didn't enjoy it."

Now that his brain was starting to work again, there was something he wanted to know. "May I ask you something?"

Gabriel's muscles stiffened against his back, but his tone was casual. "Sure."

"What really happened in Monte Carlo?"

No response.

"I mean, if you really don't want to…"

"No, Sam. I should tell you the truth."

He waited, sensing he wouldn't get an answer quickly.

Finally, Gabriel asked, "What tripped me up?"

Sam shrugged against the comfortable weight on top of him. "You mentioned porn stars in the story you wrote on the wall. But when you told me and Dean the story, I had to remind you about them. Made me think there were no porn stars."

Gabriel gave a rueful chuckle. "Yeah, should have practiced the story better. Okay, so you're right. There were no porn stars. Oh, I did go to Monte Carlo and to Loki. I knew I'd made that promise to not get involved, but it was the fucking Apocalypse. I didn't think he'd hold me to it."

"But he did?"

"Oh, yeah, did he ever. Not at first." Gabriel shifted to sit up, back against the headboard. Sam sat beside him, taking his hand and twining their fingers together. "He welcomed me, said it was no problem. That of course he'd help me again. What were friends for?"

Sam tamped down on his anger at the pagan god. He was gone. No point being angry at a dead god.

"Did you ever wonder how I knew how to roofie an archangel, Sam?"

Now that Gabriel mentioned it, he should have. "Not really. There was a lot going on. Didn't really have time to think about it."

"Well, I knew because Loki used the stuff on me. Handed me a drink to 'celebrate a reunion of friends.' Next thing I knew, I woke up in a cell with Asmodeus' ugly mug leering down at me."

A shudder went through his frame, and Sam slid an arm around him, pulling him close. "It'll be okay. Neither of them can ever hurt you again."

"Yeah. Tell my emotions that."

Sam held him tight. "I'm glad you told me. We'll keep it between ourselves. I don't think Dean picked up on it."

"Oh, Dean knows now," Gabriel said, his tone flat.

"What?"

"I invited Cas to listen in while I told you. Said it was okay to fill Dean-o in."

"Why?"

Gabriel reached around him to gently flick at his nose. "Because lies and half-truths are what get you Winchesters in trouble. You lie to each other one day and then pull some foolish stunt to save each other the next day. Castiel's getting just as bad. I mean, really? Deals with Crowley and Purgatory souls? I gave him hell for that."

"You guys talked?"

"Yeah, last night while you humans slept, I gave my baby bro a long lecture." He paused. "And he kind of gave me one in return. Told me I was just as bad at keeping stuff to myself. Damn Winchesters." There was no heat in his tone, just affection.

Sam knew he was right. Most of their bad decisions had come from keeping things from each other. Maybe it was time for them all to start fresh.

"Damn right, kiddo."

Sam closed his eyes and slid them both down the bed. "Okay. But later. Right now, I want a nap. Then I want to wake up and do that again."

Gabriel allowed himself to be moved and laughed. "The lecture? Or the sex?"

"The sex. Definitely the sex."

"I'm on board with that."

Sam settled them both comfortably, Gabriel's head pillowed on his bare chest. As he drifted off, he thought he felt broad pinions wrap around them.

Well, apparently, he finally had his bird of prey. Not exactly what he'd imagined as a kid, but he thought this was even better.

With that thought, he drifted off to sleep, safe and warm cradled in wings and love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many, many thanks to all you wonderful people who've read this, left Kudos and a special thanks to everyone who commented. I appreciate you all! My first 100+ Kudos fic. I couldn't be happier. :D


End file.
